| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I have never been very good about reading signals from men... recently at work a guy has started to make it obvious he is interested. It has been a little strange, as not the usual chatting trying to get to know me better, more he seems to suddenly just always be there, if I look up, he makes eye contact and doesn't look away until I either drop my gaze or walk off. A female friend has remarked that he takes the opportunity to touch me, lean on my shoulder, brush past me a little too often and we kind of laughed about it as he is a good looking guy, I am single and so what the hell, see if anything developed, or not. Yesterday he made some very strange comments and I didn't understand what he meant, so asked him later on what he meant by them. Instead of an explanation, I was stunned as he said he didn't make them. I was a bit shocked, so casually mentioned that my friend had noticed the flirting between us and was amused it had been going on so long, his response was that he didn't know what I was talking about, I outlined some incidents, and he said he couldn't remember them.I feel a little confused and hurt, as the things were definatley said and happened, and it is as if he has now turned harmless fun, and gentle moments into something I imagined. The conversation ended strangely as well with him telling me he was sure I could last two days over the weekend without him. My friend confirms all incidents were initiated by him, I was open to the contact but there was definatley nothing in my behaviour to suggest I was mad about him as he insinuated, in fact the opposite! What on earth was he playing at?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2012): Guys flirt to flirt...it's not a promise to date you. You took it seriously, confronted him, and he backed off. At least you now know he's not interested in taking it further even though it may not be what you wanted to hear!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2012): O , men do it all the time. It's not like he wanted any action, just little flirt here and there. I wouldn't pay attention to words, if there is no action.
Few years ago I was in training from my work, and met this really cute younger guy. I was paired without him many times for projects, and noticed something, even told my friend, that I must be crazy, but I think this guys is kind of flirting with me.
The fact that he was a boy made me laugh. But then we had so called field trip with him, we had to do some work outside office for a few days, and he went all flirty with me, telling me that I m so beatifull and he is very much into me. Well, I just laughed it off. Then I had to go away for a week, and he texted me every hour of the day.
When I came back, he insisted of meeting, but it didn't happen for couple of months. I was like you, couldn't understand what he wanted. I dated men my age in a mean time, but his attention was flattering.
Then one day he called getting his courage together, and said he had a few, can I come to meet him, as he doesn't want to drive being under influence. I gave him a slack, and came over. We kissed for hours, he bruised my lips. We went on a back of his car, with our clothes flying all over. It was so passionate, and wonderful.
And then my big flirt lasted may be couple more times, fantasy was gone. We both kind of drifted away. I never saw him after, he was transferred, and that was it.
You ll understand when it's a real thing. Your guy is just a flirt with nothing behind that.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 November 2012):
 Honestly, since you work with the guy, I would not try and move this along nor would I continue to flirt and/or let him touch me.
He is NOT interested in you as a date/partner but as someone who he can flirt with to make himself look/feel good. I say that because he claims to not even remember, so it can't be something he takes serious at all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2012): Even though he was flirting with you mentioning it to him was embarrassing! If you were interested you should wait to see if something will come out of it. If someone is interested and already you have shown some interest he will speak up and there is no need for confrontation. That was just a game and it is over so don’t think about it anymore and ignore him.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (10 November 2012):
 I agree with both Jannie and Em, forget him. This was the chase for him, his joy was stirring you up and then when you caught him at his game, he bowed out.
He will never be good relationship material as he is yes, in love with himself.
Now you get to go back to work and you and your friend know the truth. Don't pay him any attention and if he starts with his flirting ways, just tell him you're imagining him far, far away.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (10 November 2012):
 I agree with Jannie. He is obviously a natural flirt and enjoys the game but it's all about him and he's probably quite shocked that you have fronted him about it...so he has bolted back to his hole of denial.
You and your friend know what you saw and agree on his behaviour but what can you say about the personality of a man who reverts his game to fantasy rather than man up and own it???
Best to cut off his air and ignore him in future, because he's shown his true colours and it's cringworthy indeed.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 November 2012):
 He is in love with himself. He gets satisfaction that you spend time thinking about him but when it comes to anything real, you are imagining it and he will deny it. Don't give him the narcissistic supply by commenting on his actions. Just simply ignore him and he will go off with another female to play games with.
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