A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:What Now? What Next? Where To?I've been dating the same guy for over four years now. The problem is I know he is cheating on me with other women. I found about one of these woman about two years ago when I thought I was pregnant and he was nowhere to be found. This woman was on his email contact list and I found out him and her were having sex. That relationship is now over.However, here it is, two years later and he has grown even more distant with time. No more emails saying he misses me or loves me. Hardly any phone calls. He has been acting uncommunicative and cold since April of last year when he went into rehab for alcohol abuse. The problem is I think he has a cross addiction which is sexual addiction. For some reason or other, he has excluded me from his life, and I think this may be because of another woman. I'm not sure where to go from here?I mean he still says I'm his girlfriend and wants me to be exclusive to him. I have been all these years. But I don't think such is the case with him. I don't know if I should hang on to a relationship that seems so one-sided and with a man who is selfish and just out for himself.What now? What next? Where to?Should I just break it off with him and move on? Should I confront him and tell him that I know about his cheating? I had a friend call his house and a woman answered one weekend. So he cannot lie or cover up anymore. Should I simply tell him that we can continue to date each other but I am no longer exclusive to him? I mean we can see each other until I meet a better guy that can offer me a future.I'm so confused at this point and don't know where to turn. I love this man so much, however, it's obvious he doesn't return the feeling or is incapable of it. Any answers to my questions will be greatly appreciated. I wanna make sure I do the right thing and for the right reasons. I deserve way better treatment than this and won't settle for what he is giving me. Am I just a piece of weekend ass special to him or friends with benefits?Thanks again!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): why have you allowed yourself to be treated like this?surely you want someone who is committed to you as you have been.why didn't you comfront him before?he has alot of problems and i think it's best you walk away.of course he wants you as his girlfriend because he wnats you to stay faithful even if he doesn'twhat exactly are you getting out of this relationship, if you can call it that.Someone who doesn't communicate properly for over a year is not in a relationshipI think he is just hoping you will go away eventually and thats why he is being coldMove on and finsd someone who deserves you and the love and affection you have to offer
A
female
reader, RhiAnne  +, writes (15 June 2009):
You will have to confront him, if you don't it will nag away at you until you feel that there is nothing left. You obviously care a great deal about him and so to just break it off and move on would be difficult, but it seems to me the right thing to do. It is clear that you are not being appreciated in this relationship, there is no equality and his behavior seems downright despicable. Don't just break all ties with him without a word though. Tell him why you're doing it (if that is what you decide to do) and how his behavior has made you feel. If you don't let him know what he has been doing to you then he is even more likely to go and do it again to some other poor woman or try to win you back and put you through all the same pain once more.
Personally I would not say that you are still together but not "exclusively" as this will only leave you open to being used by him in the same way again. Yes you may meet someone else in the process but if you are still tied to him you won't be able to enjoy that new relationship.
I hope that you can make the decision which is right for you and move on with your life. I wish you happiness for the future.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (15 June 2009):
 Hun he clearly doesn't care.... not contacting you anymore but he wants you to be exclusive?
why?
so he has the excitement of cheating with another girl so it feels alot hotter with this other woman than it does with you because he feels he has a mistress?
you need to get out of that dead end relationship and grow a backbone hun!!!!! do what is right for you!!
having a one sided relationship isn't healthy! always one doing the work while the other acts like they are the one working hard.
you need to find yourself a decent man who will keep the relationship a two way not a one way and who certainly doesn't cheat or run when they think you're pregnant what kind of man does that?
a cowardly one i'll tell you!!!
you do what's best for you!
but i think this relationship had died the day he cheated.
he clearly cannot help himself if he's doing it again....
it's totally unfair on you.
you deserve so much better.
hope this helps.
sorry if i sounded rude in my message not intended to be that way :)
x x x x x x x x x
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