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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: They say that people are more likely to find their partners when they were not looking I would like to know what other peoples experiences have been to back this up. I have been single for a while; I attend several voluntary events, groups, and do a lot of things to occupy my time such as concerts, clubs and courses etc. so I tend to be in places where there are many new people, so that I can create an opportunity if it presents itself. I don’t always dress over the top to grab the attention of men, but this is not to say I do not put any effort into my looks. I don’t carry on like I am on heat when I see an attractive suitor and can be subtle in my flirting if need be. What makes a women approachable if they are in the right place to meet people?I find that I get a fair bit of attention for the occasional onlooker but that is as far as it goes. I would like to know; men when you approached a woman that you dated what was it that made you approach her?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 February 2013):
 The problem is you are looking... even if you say you are not...
The fact that you are putting so much thought into it says that.
MEN are just like women... why would they approach a stranger and start a conversation and risk being rejected?
You say you get a fair bit of attention from an "onlooker"
when you go to these events...do you start random conversations with men and women? are you there to meet men or have fun?
EVEN if you are going to events and doing things... if you do them with the goal of meeting men to date... it's subtle but it shows.
What makes a woman approachable... she's chatty with everyone... she's warm and friendly.. she smiles AT everyone... she does not care if it's a man or a woman or a child... I've been known to "flirt" with a 3 year old...
How did I meet my current husband.... board gaming convention... LOTS of men at board gaming conventions...some married... some divorced...some single... sadly some old virgins too... many board gamers have some level of Asperger's Syndrome (on the autistic spectrum) we tend to be very very bright... but most of us lack social skills...
anyway... I met him when I was not really available to have a full relationship with him.. I did not want a full relationship with him... he was my fun and games on the side...
that was January 2011 when we started... I married him October 2012... he's younger than I am..
do you allow yourself the ability to think outside the box in meeting men that might be suitable for dating or are you limiting yourself to men of Xx-xx age range... etc..,,
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013): It's true that it often happens when you are not looking, mainly because you don't give off a desperate vibe. Men like women who are happy enough with themselves to feel they don't need a relationship to make them whole. That sort of pressure freaks guys right out and they run a mile from it! What you say you are doing sounds like a good approach to meet lots of people, but you can't be described as someone who is 'not looking'. Everything you have described seems to focus on attracting a man in a subtle way. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but perhaps focusing on having fun instead of who you might meet might give off a better vibe?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013): Im not a man, but that was my experience when I was single: men approached me on one nights more than others based on how I felt inside. One day I felt especially pretty, and I actually was with a guy friend. That night men were all over me. One advice I have for you, if you like someone who looks at you encourage him with a smile or glance, don't look away. My now husband said that that's how he detected I was interested when I was looking back and smiling at him. If you look away and don't smile, they will never come to you.
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