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*aletom
writes:In the thread, "What makes you are Virgin?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-makes-you-are-virgin.html , a girl asked how "virgin" was defined for women.How about a FOLLOW-UP QUESTION:Girls, how do you define a virgin guy? Does he have to get it inside her? Orgasm and ejaculate inside a girl? Is he a virgin if she has given him a hand-job? Or dry humping? Suppose he "only" does anal sex with her? Gives or receives oral sex with her? (Or, oral sex with another guy?)Do you think there are double standards in the way we define, or value, virginity with men versus women?
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female
reader, MBHP  +, writes (19 March 2008):
I'd say just get inside, no matter if they 'came' or not. penis + vagina = sex! x
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (17 January 2008):
daletom is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGee, I didn't mean to start an argument!
Like "Cateyes" noticed, I was only curious about how people set the limits. The question of "How far can we go?" has been around for a LONG time, and the answer isn't always the same. Not ALL changes are for the worse - after all, those "Good Old Days" used to be known as "These Trying Times".
But after seeing the other thread where the lady asked if she had fooled around too much to still be called a virgin I wondered how girls thought about guys in that context. Let's try to get some more opinions.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2008): Look I just have to comment in response to the comment below. In the real world, your "good name" will have absolutely NOTHING to do with how many blow jobs you have given or how many virginites you have lost. In the real world it all comes down to your education level, your ambition in life, your success in life, your demeanor, your pride, and NOT from your sex life. You just focus on being as educated as you can, as successful as you can, stand as proud as you can, don't take shit from anybody and hold your head up as high as it can possibly get and that will be your measure of a "good name" in life. I mean what do you think men prefer, a virgin with no brains or money or pride. Or a non virgin who is educated, intelligent, sassy, knows what she wants, is strong, proud etc. Oviously the non virgin. As for sex?? It means nothing in the real world. Everybody has it. Your strength and character will matter way more than how virginal you are.
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female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (17 January 2008):
 I personally would like to thank you for this question...merely because many of us will have different views on how we think and what we believe or even how we grew up. Because time has changed, and this world seems to just "go with the flow", many people now view sex as merely penetration only. However, I do have a different view on this. "Back in the day", (and in Biblical time) you were considered a virgin if you were "clean" and NEVER been touched...literally. That is a virgin. Now, if you have oral sex, it's considered..like not having sex because the guy did not penetrate the girl, yet, she was touched by a male. Then there's the...he just touched her boobs or sucked them...so, yet again, she's still a virgin because of no penetration. It's the beginning or starting stages of sex and personally, if you are starting "something", it's part of sex. A girl give's a blow job, sorry, but, it's sex...it's just called "oral sex". It seems like now a day's, a new name for something can be classified as something else...so then you can give yourself a "good name" because you didn't do "that" so your "ok". I also believe a kiss is merely a kiss. Why? Because we kiss our family and friends in love. We also kiss our boyfriends and girlfriends in love...but not because we are going to have sex with them. Kissing does happen during sex, for some, however, I see this as a part of affection towards the one you love. Not everyone has oral sex or anal sex and hopefully not with your family and all your friends, so I do not feel as those can be in that same catagory. I'm no virgin, nor was I when I got married, however, what I will say is...if a girl wants to wear white at her wedding....she should be clean and never been touched or had any penetration anywhere...literally! Why are they trying to be something there not? If I was I would have been proud at my wedding when I was married!! I wish I would have had more of the parental guidance in this matter where I could have talked to my parents on this subject because of them being very old fashioned...it was a hush hush we don't talk about that. As far as a guy, the same would be...even if he was gay.
I know this may not be what many wanted to hear or what they believe, but thank goodness for different points of views in all matters.
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female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 why does this matter to you? a virgin is someone who has not had penetrative sex - entering a woman's vagina. these days, some ppl who have had anal sex are considered to be still a virgin, while others consider them not to be. i would say that if you have - your'e not a virgin, due to the fact that all gay men would be virgins!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): I guess I would define virginity for a man to be a guy who has never penetrated a girl. And by the same token, a girl who has never been penetrated is a virgin. And even though oral sex is pretty damn close to real sex there is no penetration. I say penetration, whether anal or regular sex, is losing your virginity.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): a virgin is someone who has not had penetrative sex, which means entering a womans virgina.
If u haved done other it doesnt count.
Hope this helps.
Good luck in all u do
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