A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right. So before I start I don't want to be lectured for the subject of the question. I know that having a relationship with a teacher is wrong, I just want your opinions on his actions, so if you could leave it to that it would be great thanks.My teacher is a really nice guy. Funny, and just a genuinely nice guy. You know the type. He's married and has a kids from a previous relationship etc etc. Just a normal guy. But there's just a few things that make me wonder about him.He stands/sits really close to me. For instance, I'll be standing at my desk and he'll come to help and his face will be within about 5 inches of mine. Or he'll stand so close that his arm is right against mine. You get the picture.He'll do things for me without me having to ask. He does me favours and gets things for me when I could do it perfectly well myself. But with other people he tells them to do it themselvesVery occasionally I'll look up and I'll catch him looking at me. Sometimes he smiles when I see him doing this.He has tickled me twice before, and he has made some suggestive statements that could be taken two ways, but the tone in his voice is flirtacious. Such as 'I like the look of that'.I find that when he's admiring my work (he's an art teacher) he'll pick up my work and hold it against his body, often holding it at his waist or near his crotch and that's a bit odd to me.Also, the other thing that I thought was quite innocent but both a friend and a friend's mum have said it was a bit odd.He played an April Fool prank on me, and then sent a note to me in class saying 'April Fool' with a smiley face. He didn't play a prank on anybody else, and actually waited for me at the bottom of a set of stairs just to speak to me. He also walked past in the corridor and then must have realised who he'd passed and came back to speak to me (again was standing close)Now I know I probably seem like a stupid little girl. I'm really not. I just wanted to know your opinions on his actions? Thanks.
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (7 April 2009):
 I don't think you are stupid at all. I am not going to lecture you on morality, but maybe a bit on common sense and the law. I have some professional experience in child protection here in the UK, but I am trying not to treat you like a child. Your teacher sounds like a 'problem' based on your description and you maybe his target for this year but there maybe other pupils in other years at your school who he behaves inappropriately with or has done previously. During teacher training, there is a little bit of the course on appropriate behaviour with pupils. This wisdom is endorsed in law in the UK as teachers having relationships (or trying to) with pupils is considered a breach of trust. It sounds like you are uncomfortable with his advances and I would say the next step would be to tell your parents. I would also say that the matter should be recorded at the school. He may not have done anything wrong yet, but if he acts inappropriately in the future towards you or others then senior staff will have the opportunity to act. It may seem nice to get attention from an older man who teaches you but he sounds quite predatory to me and I think the best option is to talk to another teacher and your parents.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): You don't seem like a stupid little girl at all. It sounds like you're picking up some definite signals that he's interested. Is that in response to signals you're sending him, or is this out of the blue and creepy? If it's the latter, then the previous response is probably right -- you should let someone know, if for no other reason than to protect yourself. You can do it quietly, such as by speaking to a guidance counsellor.
If it's the former, that he's picked up on your interest and is responding, well, that's the lecture you asked not to get. It's all been said before, so if you're interested you can find dozens of posts on the subject.
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A
female
reader, vwomen  +, writes (7 April 2009):
 You need to report him he shouldn't be flirting with a student trust me when i say, if it comes out he will turn the table on you and say you where flirting with him ruining your high school years.Protect your reputation.
Good luck
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