A
male
age
41-50,
*aralyzed
writes:I just received this email from my gf. We just recently got back together after a week apart. We were texting back and forth on Saturday and she ended up calling at 4am after knocking on my apartment door at 3am. Sunday and Monday night she made love to me passionately and told me how much she loved me. Tuesday she told me to come to her place once I finished my errands. This is the message I got Tuesday afternoon while at WORK! How should I respond? I'm literally shaking right now."Hi Paralyzed, I'm just getting out of my meeting now. Heading to Bowering park for a walk. We need to talk. All day I have been thinking about our relationship and the potential for an "us" in the future. I really don't see it happening with everything that has happened between us. We are constantly drawn back to each other and I know we have a strong connection. But, I need to be honest with myself and you. I have felt "off" the past couple of days and it's because I know in my heart of hearts we will never work as a couple. I know that you know it too.Breaking up and getting back together every week or month just isn't the way I want to live my life.I do care about you. I want the best for you. I want you and I to be happy. I understand if you don't want to call me or come up but you can if you want. Either way this is my final decision. I can't do this anymore Paralyzed. I am going to end up having a nervous break down. I want to find someone who can be part of my life entirely and I can be part of their's. That being said, I honestly don't want to be a relationship with anyone. As lonely, alone time is, I realize it's necessary to get through this shit time in my life. You need to do that too. I promise to not contact you and leave you be no matter what the circumstances are. I would like to be your friend but I'm not sure if that is an option. Thoughts?"What kind of sick person does this to another human being? I can't believe I was sucked in like that...again. She has done this kind of thing too many time. I have not responded and I won't.
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at work, got back together, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (8 May 2009):
 Your gut reaction is correct. Do not respond to this email as that will only fan the flames. Ignore it and any future attempts at contact. Just move on with your life and let this one go.
A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (8 May 2009):
Shame on her if she fools you once but shame on you if she fools you twice. You have said she has done it before so its your own fault! Learn your lesson! X
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (8 May 2009):
 my word1
perhaps she thought she found someone better than you when she realised that she hadn't she wanted to get back with you.
now she's liking someone else and again she's dumping you.
but probably will keep in contact with you to keep your feelings fresh so tha when something does happen and goes wrong she still has you there as a safety net.
you are right she shoudln't be all lovey dovey one minute then like throwing it back in your face the next she should appreciate you and care for you if she really does.
but i wouldn't bother with her/
cut all contact
don't even bother trying to be her friend it's not worth the hassel.
Hope things work out for you.
best of luck,
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