A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i met the guy called Ray(fake name) at youth club.we got to know each other little bit and bit.then we shared a contact number.we see each other once a week cuz youth club start on friday.ray is friendly,caring and funny guy when he texts me.but when i met him he's quite,seldom talk to me.this is how we talk:ray:hime:..hiray:are u goin' home now?me:no,but goin for shoppin'ray:ok see ya on next weekme:O_o ok~~...byei thought may be ray is shy to talk to me at first however we're like this for more than a month.he is different in inside and outside.what's wrong with this guy?
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male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (8 February 2010):
 Yes, your cousin is right in judgment. Love is magic, or at least it work like magic. It has power to change the person from bottom to top. Shyness? love do not know anything about shyness. It has power to make some one poet and story writer, or more friendly. Such are not the symptoms found in this case, so it is advisable not to put too much consideration here, it will be wastage of time and energy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): I think it's a good sign that he said he wanted to hang out with you. It is interesting that he asked YOU when YOU are free, but when you asked him when he is free, he went quiet. I could be wrong, but it might be that he is not very confident at making decisions or planning things. He may be hoping that you will think of something to do.
I get like that sometimes. If I am planning on hanging out with someone, I prefer to let them decide when and where. If they ask me to decide, I go all clueless! So it may be that he clammed up and didn't know what to say. As for what your cousin said, I guess she may be right. How well does she know him though? I think there is a risk of relying on what other people say, instead of following your own instincts. So what do you think, deep down? Do you feel like you are being messed around by this guy?
I think it may have to be you who takes control here, and gets things moving, because it sounds like he won't! So maybe you could make a plan to do something together, tell him, and see what he says. You could say, "I'm free on Saturday afternoon, how about you? We could go and..." Just an example. I hope he responds better soon, it must be frustrating for you! x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx for answers everyone.recently while me and ray were chattin he told me:
ray:if i had time i wanna hang out with u.
me:(omg!!XD)really?when?
ray:when are u free?hope my mom agrees it
me:tell me when you're free then i'll see first
however he didn't reply aft this for 1hr30mins.
another 30mins later:
ray:hey what are u doin'?
me:almost gone for sleep cuz u didn't reply
ray:sorry.ok goodnite...
seriously he's weird sometimes.i told my cousin this she said ray's not being serious with me,so don't be serious on him too.think of him as chat buddy.
also i don't think ray is shy.he wouldn't call himself shy if he was(he called himself shy a lot).
should i follow what cousin said?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): you might want to check out my post...it leans towards the same situation, yet mines may be a little different. if i could answer my situation, i could answer yours lol. from the outside, he doesnt say anything and from the inside on text, he's so open and stubborn. some are labeling such behaviours as manipulative. just go with your instinct and ask direct questions is all i can say.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): I agree with you, that he may be really shy around you in person. But you're right, this has been going on for long enough now, and you probably want a bit more from him than short responses!
Although you may text a lot, you only see each other once a week, at the youth club. So perhaps if you spent more time together, he might start to feel more comfortable and relaxed. Next time you see him, why not ask him if he'd like to go for a drink of coffee or something sometime? Or if he is more open when texting, maybe you could send him a text and suggest that you meet up and do something together. I think that if you spend more time together, it might get easier. I hope this helps, good luck. x
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A
female
reader, Nina :)  +, writes (7 February 2010):
 hi im nina. well i think he's silly of what he's doing. he might be shy, he cant really express right to you. He doesn't know how to act with you. Maybe he wants to act 'macho macho with you? like he doesn't care? ' maybe?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 February 2010):
It's easy for a person to talk when they don't have to see you. It's not so easy when they do see you. I think he is shy. Why don't you ask him to meet and gently talk to him about himself. Then you'll know whether he's shy or just not interested.
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