A
female
age
41-50,
*ancakes rule
writes:what's the big taboo with student teacher relationships? I know there's all this stuff about peadophillia, but why does it HAVE to be reported? And does anyone know how teachers react, like what do they say to a student who has just admitted to liking them?In Ireland, anyway, teachers can't give the ultimate grade before you finish school so if someone in one of the senior classes gets with a young teacher, why is it so bad?BTW, I'm not thinking about doing this, although I have fancied teachers in the past, I've seen too many of my cousin's famillies being ripped apart from one parent having an affair.
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female
reader, champilyn  +, writes (20 November 2009):
 I think that it's not wrong. it's just that people don't want to mind their own business and just wants to hear the newest gossip, since they have nothing better to do in life.
well, also because of culture.
A
female
reader, Abbiestar  +, writes (17 November 2009):
 I don't think it's necessarily about having sex with YOUR teacher. what should be just frowned upon is a teacher just dating one of the students at their school not exactly THEIR student but just one who happens to study at the same place where he works. but not a I'm your student-you're my teacher relationship because that would cause trouble. I really don't think it affects people that a student is dating one of the teachers at their school but who doesn't teach them, but keeping it private and behaving professionally whilst there.
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (7 November 2009):
 Teachers that have sex with their students SHOULD go to jail.
If teenagers want to have fun, they should be playing video games or something, not having sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): In my opinion there are right and wrong teacher/student relationships..I'll start with the positive kind :), if the student is 18 or OVER and is now no longer attending the school or is 16 and has LEFT school depends on the legal age, it's 16 here) then I see no reason why a relationship could not begin. I do not believe it has anything to do with the school after those circumstances. Students are human,teachers are human, somewhere, there will be an attraction and I don't feel that anybody has any right to deny to people of their feelings. I also think that it would be wrong if and 18 year old girl was to be in a relationship with a 40 year old. I understand age should not matter but I think that an age gap like that would further impact the younger persons life and they might miss out on the good things you experience at that age. I think it is safe to say that this is hardly any requirement if the teacher and the student both love each other, I'm sure they can wait. If the teacher doesn't want to wait, then it should be ended there and then. I also do not think there should be any sexual relationship DEFINITELY until the student is ready without pressure and that they have bonded in personality first. People finding out that a freshly grduated student and a teacher are having a sexual relationship straight away...well..I don't think it would go down well with anyone.The wrong kind of student/teacher relationships are ones in which the teacher is buying the students love, through blackmail e.g good grades etc. Having a sexual relationship before the age of 16 (And that's being VERY lenient, really it should be 18+. Threatening or pressurising the student in any way, shape or form. Convincing the student that they should keep the relationship a secret - even after the age of 18.So I guess what I am saying is that, when a student and a teacher both genuinely LOVE each other or have strong feelings, not of lust but a strong attraction to each other, I see no reason why it cannot be acted upon under the appropriate circumstances. Sure, people may say you're too young to know what love is, but can they really judge that? Every single person is different, sure.. many people wouldn't know what love is, but SOME do and for some who think they do, it is a learning process to help them with their love in the furture.I also think that although many people see it as being unethical, you just have to grin and bare it. There will always be people like that sadly who will judge before they even know. So yeah, I think there is a time that a relationship can be initiated but if both truly mean it, then it won't be whilst the student is at school. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): because of what everyone just said. it simply isn't professional.
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female
reader, pancakes rule +, writes (6 November 2009):
pancakes rule is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks for the advice, but like I said, where I live, the teachers don't give you grades that count for anything at all, and guys in thier 20s have been known to go out with 17 and 16 year olds, so what difference does it make if they just happened to have met through being a teacher and student?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): Like others pointed out, there are many valid reasons against teacher/student relationship. But the problem is, it is unavoidable. It is like putting fire on petrol and not expecting it to catch fire. They should come up with a some ways around this problem. For example.. the marking should be done by other teachers who don't interact with you. That way you strip the teacher of any authority or avoid favoritism. The problem with the west is that they have sexualized the culture so much but they wanna avoid it in particular situations. It wont work. We let girls come to class dressed like prostitutes.. but we expect the teacher not to have any attraction. Is he a human or some machine? Our ideas are contradictory. We are not being realistic.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): Please honey listen from someone who's been through lots of s**t. I slept with a teacher of mine and got pregnant. What I've got from my life? Nothing at all! Sure,I love my baby girl but the way she came...God, you know why I slept with him? I thought I loved him and he loved me back. We slept together, he gave me an A+ and something more. Few weeks after, I told him about the baby situation and he just shrugged it off! Imagine that! He knocked me up and few weeks after, he just forgot about it! For him, what we've done never happened. Trust me, there's reason why they're forbidden.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (5 November 2009):
 Because the teacher is in a position of authority, so the student may not feel comfortable saying "no". Because the student may be trying to bribe the teacher with sex for a good grade. Because every man who fancies sleeping with underage girls would be lined up at the door, resume in hand, interviewing for a job, so that he'd have a whole stable of young, starry-eyed, vulnerable girls to choose from. Oh goodie, which one to put the moves on next? The blonde in the third row? The brunette whose skirts are a tad short?
Because parents send their children to school to learn, not to spend time picking which teacher they'd like to try to date next.
The whole culture of the school would alter. Dating the teacher being okay, suddenly, it would look like if one of his students got a high mark, was it because the student had excellent oral exam skills, or excellent oral sex skills?
God, are you serious? Think it through!
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (5 November 2009):
Because it can cause favoritism and the teacher giving out better grades if you give them "favors." Therefore, students can basically prostitute themselves for better grades, or the teacher can give not so good grades to students who don't want to. Besides that it just unprofessional on the teacher/professors part.
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