A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am married to a wonderful person.I was having a very normal life until my husband's cousin's brother joined us for a vacation. He slowly started talking to me about his love life and lot more about his personal life but we both never crossed the limits in any ways. He came over and stayed with us couple of times and we always behaved well. He showed me signs of interest towards me but he never told me anything. Now I've started falling for him and I cannot stop thinking about him..... I feel ashamed of me for doing this and I'm trying to control this but I cannot.... His memories makes me sick and I am crying everyday. Please someone help me
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female
reader, LORI12 +, writes (13 November 2009):
no please don't do that. you have good husband and continue make love with him. Don't ruin your life for one day pleasures. start thinking about your husband. please think about it.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 November 2009):
 Wow, you've got a bad case of a crush going on here. You say you're happy in your marriage? How long have you been married, do you have children, are there things that are missing from the marriage?The thing about crushes is that it takes you back to those first delicious feelings of getting to know someone, finding someone attractive and hoping the feeling is reciprocated. I think you should look at this from that standpoint. It happens to be this cousin, and you've spent enough time to get to know him and he's not someone you will ever actually mess with, but the idea of him is intriguing. I think you're doing a bit of mourning for lost opportunities. Getting married is the end of freedom, in a way, the end of shopping around for a mate. You have to make a decision and stick to it. It's pretty daunting when you really think about it. No wonder people get cold feet, or break up.An alternative theory is that there could an element of self-sabotage in this. Things are going well with the husband, life is too good and too perfect, and subconsciously you think you don't deserve it. So your evil inner tramp (just a figure of speech) decides to help you out and plant all these feelings of desire and lust for the WRONG MAN! It's a trap, it's you trying to sink your own marriage because for some reason you're wired to live in chaos and upset. I know people like that, who only feel alive when there are huge problems and drama surrounding them.Maybe you're depressed, and you're struggling to find something that interests you, and this cousin is the one you latched onto. Whatever it is, if it is making you so miserable, I think you need to see somebody about this. Ask your family doctor for a referral to a psychologist or counselor. That seems to me to be the sensible course.I hope you find the help you need. Take care.
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