A
female
age
36-40,
*issciku
writes:I've known this guy from 2013, but he only told me that he had been trying to ask me out this year. So almost 2 months ago we officially started dating. He kept asking me to move in with him, talking about the number of kids he wants to have with me and was generally such a gentleman.Telling me how he wanted me to meet his family and friends.Two weeks ago we spent the evening together in a club and as he was dropping me off to take the bus he said 'I love you ' I was just surprised with nothing to say but he said it again and I told him I loved him too. After that he kept texting me and we met two days later in a club with his friends he kept kissing me and making it clear that he was proud of being with me, he told me he wanted me and I agreed just that there was a condition that I had to get home before morning as I live with my younger sister and couldn't go overnight without having a discussion with her (I'm her guardian our mum passed away in January this year) so he started complaining that we never spend enough time together but we agreed to just go to his house for about two hours. The sex was good and he said he loves me as he dropped me. Oh, and he'd bought me a designer perfume that he gave me as we were leaving the club.Two days later on Monday we were to meet but got busy then he called me and I couldn't answer cause I was out having dinner with my cousin and it was our girls time. So on my way home I called and I could sense an attitude, he just made it a big deal that I didn't answer and I sent him a text apologising when I got home. He gave me the silent treatment till Friday night. He just sent a text asking where i was like nothing was wrong. I played along but he said he wanted to have sex with me again and when I said I couldn't that day he got an attitude again saying I have excuses and it pissed me off so we argued about the earlier situation and he said I was wrong not to call and apologise. I asked him why he wanted to see me and have sex if he was still so angry and he said that he wanted to talk and that he thought we had shared a great moment the previous weekend.The following day he sent me a text saying he wanted to move to a house near where I live. It was weird but I didn't say much about it until he started talking to me again and he said that he had already identified a house that he wanted to move into. I had travelled on Saturday and Sunday so we couldn't meet but on Sunday night he wanted us to sleep together cos I was off work on Monday but I got home too late and it couldn't happen. Monday morning I called him and we had a great conversation, we agreed to meet that afternoon for late lunch. When he called me something personal had come up and I couldn't answer so I called him back after two hours. He had an attitude again didn't even ask why I couldn't speak earlier and made it seem like he was too far to meet me so I went home. I sent him a text later just checking up he answered without much to say. Then I told him about my doctors appointment that he had kept saying he wanted to accompany me to for support. It was either going to be Tuesday or Wednesday and he said that work would be busy so he would confirm. Haven't heard from him since and today is Friday. On Wednesday I was going through a rough day and in the course of it I sent him a text asking What have I done this time (name) that you've decided you are not talking to me again?' No response and I think it's becoming too much for me to handle at this point. What do I need to do and what is wrong with this man?
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female
reader, Abella  +, writes (27 June 2015):
 That really is an additional burden and very painful for you to be suffering that as well.
Hopefully your Doctots can help you with these multiple medical issues.
Thank you for the update.
A
female
reader, missciku +, writes (27 June 2015):
missciku is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Abella. The reason I am not on the two birth control pills is because my dermatologist was worried about my hormonal situation being that I have endometriosis and the treatment is what got the acne started in the first place. But with this situation it makes me think that I need to consult with my gynaecologist to see whether I can be put on at least one though given the circumstances sex is off my plans for quite some time. My last appointment I think was too soon after conception that the test came out negative.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 June 2015):
Did the Doctor explain that you need to use Two kinds of protection when you use that medication?
It does cause serious birth defects, including:
"(medication), also known as (alternate name for that medication), is known to cause birth defects, including brain, heart, and face deformities, if women take it while pregnant. Because of this, it is recommended that women of childbearing age taking the drug be tested for pregnancy before starting it and then repeatedly during their treatment. They should also use two forms of birth control while on the medication."
The major birth defects are beyond what most people would be familiar with and I can see why two forms of birth control are essential while you are taking this medication and probably for some time after you complete the treatment
Here are some of the examples of how these babies suffer:
http://rxpillsonline.xyz/accutane-induced-birth-defects/
The Doctor understands the level of suffering a child will be put through and have to endure for their lifetime, if the mother has been taking that medication you currently need to take for another medical condition. The tiny embryo is so vulnerable to many things affecting it, especially in the first three months of a pregnancy.
The sperm donor in this instance is just a sperm donor. Based on what you said you are just a bit of fun for him. He is definitely not interested in more. And I doubt that he will stand by you in any crisis in the future.
I think he is a fair weather friend who will say things that will lull you into thinking he cares, mainly to ensure that he can have sex with you.
After you have sorted out everything with your dermatologist and got your life back on track I think it is time you started examining a guy's action's not his words and then proceed accordingly to find a genuine guy who is serious about treating you well, respecting you and not playing "Fade-out" when it suits him. And "Mr Nice Guy" only when he wants sex.
I am so very sorry that you are experiencing so many dramas at the same time. Just accept that some things are not meant to be.
I hope everything works out well for you.
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A
female
reader, missciku +, writes (27 June 2015):
missciku is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs fate would have it the one time sex with this man has ended up in pregnancy for me ( we used protection but it got broken and I swallowed the emergency contraceptive pill the following day). Problem is I am on an ongoing prescription for accutane for acne and I am not supposed to get pregnant or it, the dermatologist even had me sign a document that if it happened it would lead in automatic termination, which we had discussed and he was aware of though we obviously didn't expect it would happen because it's the first time in my 27 years.I am obviously very stressed at this point and scared about the next step I only did a test yesterday which means I have to go back to the dermatologist on Monday to discuss this with her. I thought that it should not be a burden I need to carry alone since we are two adults, so yesterday I called him so we could talk about it much as I know I don't have the luxury of choosing to keep it being that there are very many medical risks being that I have been on the medication for some months already. So I called him and he ignored it which by the point I think is the most childish thing I have ever seen considering I really can't point out what I did wrong here apart from returning a call 2 hours later. So I'm just going to deal with this as if I was irresponsible and had a one night stand and not like it was with a man who had pursued me for two years and I ended up dating for slightly over a month. Is this the right decision or should I try reach him again? Obviously if I sent him a text he would read it and choose whether or not to ignore it. I am financially stable and not looking to get any assistance money wise from him. Just the emotional support of having someone to discuss this situation with and I know it will be hard to get through it all including the doctors appointment and the procedure so pretty much a shoulder to cry on.
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A
female
reader, missciku +, writes (21 June 2015):
missciku is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice.
My "boyfriend" still hasn't spoken to me and I am sure that this is not the kind of man that I would want in my life. If he does come back I will make it known to him that it's not acceptable to behave in such a manner and if he doesn't then life keeps moving.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 June 2015):
 He doesn't LOVE you. But he knows SAYING "I love you" ... get girls to drop their panties.
He wants you to be like beer on tap. That you just WAIT around for him to call. For you to ALWAYS be available to him, when you are NOT he gets moody and mad. He doesn't seem to COMPREHEND that you actually HAVE a life on your own. YOU have a HUGE responsibility in raising your sister, but HE doesn't care. What he DOES care about is HIM getting SEX when ever HE wants it.
Silent treatment is something SOME people do in order to make the OTHER person feel bad. And it worked because YOU... felt bad and even apologized for something YOU didn't DO wrong. You were BUSY with your life/family and he throws a tantrum... What a baby! It a TYPICAL manipulation/control thing. Trying to make you DO what HE wants.
I think you NEED to dump him. You did NOTHING wrong. He is just a VERY ENTITLED SNOT of a man.
And after you dump his sorry butt... BLOCK/delete his number. Don't let him sweet talk you back into his bed.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2015): He wants you there at the drop of a hat and he doesnt acknowledge you have ties and commitments already.This relationship is already going off track. He is dismissive of your lifestyle , complaining that its all excuses. Later he will accuse you of lying. Tempertantrums will transform into violent rages and abusive outburstz, so as you have a sibling to consider i would drop this man as fast and wholeheartedly as you can and never look back on this , just shake the dust off your feet nd keep moving.
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