A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello there. Ok,so I don't really know where to begin, so bare with me!Since starting university I started to really come out of my shell, I found my style (the pin-up/vintage look) and I felt great! The best I've ever felt,I've never felt particularly confident in my own skin. Anywho,recently I've started to feel really insecure again and it is making me miserable. I've even started looking into getting a nose job! I'm really friendly with one girls on my course and she always goes on how about pretty all and thin all theother girls are(I'm not overly thin,but I'm not huge either - I have huge breasts, tiny waist and wide hips with a little bit of a wobbly stomach) anyway the most she's ever said about me is that I'm unconventional and feminine (not to mention cute - but who wants to be cute?)To top it off, I cannot attract a 'decent' type of man! I've been single nearly three months now (not long I know, and not that I really mind because I love it) but all I get is men looking for one offs and a quick hump! I was with one the other day, I left him to go to the toilet and when I came back he was talking to someone and referred to me as his 'collegue' and he admitted he couldn't see me around the area we live because he has a girlfriend then resorted to calling me boring because I wanted have sex with him! (can you believe he was 38 years old?) What on earth is wrong with me? Is it because I'm ugly that I'm only getting this type of attention? They somehow think that because I'm ugly I'm grateful for the attention? I just don't understand, I mean I notice I get looked at but I never get asked out! I feel awful. I'd really love to hear some men's opinions on this! But all is most appreciatedThankk you for reading my lovelies!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2013): Sounds like your "friend" is jealous. As other poster say, you no you're not ugly but you seem to seek reassurance from others to feed your self-esteem. Love yourself before you can expect others to love you, then when you really do love yourself you find you couldn't care less who likes or doesn't like you be side you're happy!
At Uni you'll meet boys who want to go mad with their new freedom and just want to hook up. That's not for many people, so just tell them where to go and enjoy being you x
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (2 December 2013):
 I'm sorry but you say you have found your style and that it's vintage/pinup! Then you ask if you're attracting the wrong type of attention because your ugly?
You know darn well that your not ugly and if you had body image issues then you would not have adopted the sexy style that you have.
I think you're attention seeking.
You get looked at because your chosen style is desirable, it's pinup FGS, but you probably don't get asked out because the guys maybe think you're out of their league!
As for a nose job! They're expensive, painful and can go wrong. If your nose hasn't always been a source of upset for you then why should you now all of sudden need to change it?
Stop being so worried about other girls opinions, other girls are bitchy and unkind. Be yourself, enjoy having fun and stop being so needy and fishing for compliments.
I hope this helps ABx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2013): You remind me a bit of me... I'm unconventional in appearance. I finally had to get over myself and stop waiting for the right kind of guy to find me. Instead, I went and found the right guy, and asked him to lunch... a year later, we're still together, and I feel so much more confident about myself.It might not work the first time or with the first guy, but I really think you should try taking that control and YOU making the first step with a guy you actually do think is your type.A ending note, I am of the belief that the type of guys a girl attracts has much less to do with her looks, and more to do with the places in which she goes to find men, and the atmosphere she carries about her. In my case, turns out he actually liked me for a year! I just was acting completely unapproachable without even realizing it and he assumed I wasn't into him....Men aren't perfect, they can be shy, they can be dense, the most confident ones aren't always the best picks :| unfortunately an excess of confidence often comes with a**holery and douchery... so when you wait for confident men to come and approach you, you always run that risk
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2013): You know you are not ugly. And the way you described your body it sounds like you are very feminine with hourglass shape figure. This type of figure is very rare, only 10% of women have it and men ussualy love it the most. Actually I imagine I have somewhat your looks. I am not thin, but not even close to being overweight, I have big breast for my body, and tiny waist. I have this older friend, and she once even said a phrase that there is not much to look at, meaning both of us. I told her who she is talking about, herself? We can't pay attention to what people say so much. Remember they are only saying things coming from how THEY see this world. We all have different tastes and images in our heads, and because your friend likes only skinny looking girls, it doesn't mean you are ugly. Now about men. It's not that only you attract all kind of wrong men all the time. EVERYONE attract mostly wrong kind of men all the time. Right kind of men is rare, and when it happens this is when people fall in love. Especially in this age when sex took a form of being casual most of the time, men feel confident in offering it to women very easy. This 38 years old is a joke, forget him. Your job is to sort through all these men who come up to you, don't agree to casual sex and one day a proper guy will show up. And please don't think that you are alone in this issue. Most women experience the same: men only wanting one thing from them : sex. I go out all the time. I give out my phone number often. Only a tiny percentage of men call, the rest hitted on me wanting only one thing that night and we both know what.
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