A
male
age
41-50,
*ruce lee
writes:It's me again...The guy who is all stuffed up in the head. Some people have told me in the past that I make inappropriate sexual comments. They say it's part of Aspergers Syndrome.But my question is...Why do people get so touchy about inapropriate sexual remarks?I once sent a woman a letter asking her out on a date (which I wish I hadn't done) and was told that I had made "inapropriate advances" towards her.What is so inapropriate about asking a woman out for coffee through a letter? Is it a terrible thing to do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BeautifulCapricorn  +, writes (6 February 2011):
lol you shouldve texed her, email, twit or facebook chat her lol maybe she doesnt like it the old school way .... technology man! get with the program!
on a serious note ... it is better to just approach her and ask her out for coffee face to face than writting a letter ... I mean there is absolutely nothing wrong with the letter but you are a grown man and she is a grown woman, i think that she would prefer the face to face chat.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): Generally, must people have so degree of shame and fear about sex.
If you made a sexual remark to this girl and she ignored you, it means she didn't want your sexual attention. People usually don't bother to say that explicitly because it can be hurtful and embarassing.
If you mailed this same girl a letter after you made a sexual remark (and even if you didn't) she may feel imposed on and perhaps afraid.
If someone signals that they don't want sexual attention by ignoring you or saying what you said was inappropriate, don't push your luck.
All this said, plenty of non-aspergers people say the wrong thing at the wrong time. We all say things that put people off, myself included.
There's nothing wrong with asking someone out for coffee, but it's best to be really subtle about your sexual desire for anyone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): Well some women can be kind of paranoid with guys they don't know. If I got a letter from someone asking me out for a cup of coffee I would find that a little weird. Usually I would prefer for them to go up to me and ask. It doesn't show much confidence on a man if they do it on a letter. Another thing, if people usually say you make inappropriate advances or comments she is going to be on her guard for sure and she will definitely think you send that letter to do something inappropriate.
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