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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My bf keeps talking to me about working out...He says (and acts which is even more important I guess) that I'm totally hot and attractive. He's more passionate now than he was when we started dating almost two years ago (maybe because I've lost some 20 lbs since then).He knows I'm really insecure about my body, even though he says I'm really sexy. I mentioned I was planning on working out. He said it was fine, but that I didn't really need it, but it was fine if I "improved" myself.Well, now, everyday he asks me if I'm working out, what kind of exercises I'm doing, what muscles they target (weird, considering he's no athlete himself). And if I say I haven't worked out today, he kinda gets upset. He just says sometimes "Oh, I can only imagine when the results start showing!"We have a very deep and meaningful connection, but what is up with this obsession of his with my work outs?? Does it mean he really believes I need to be "improved"? He's obviously attracted to me, but does this mean he wants a hotter version of me instead? I feel kinda pressured, and it makes me feel as if he's a bit more shallow than expected. Am I overreacting or reading too much into this? I haven't actually talked to him about this.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (12 June 2008):
You just need to ask him why he seems so obsessed with this. he may think he is helping you by supporting you efforts to tone up and not realise he's coming across as strange and pressurising.
He might be hoping you invite him along so he can tone up too.
He might be imagining you coming home in a clingy leotard all sweaty and getting a bit over excited.
Only he knows what is going on in his head. Explain how he's coming across and ask him what he's really thinking. Good luck on getting fit though, I'm off swimming soon too now I'm wearing my tighter summer tops again.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): Ok this sounds like my life story..
My exboyfriend was EXACTLY the same. He would always ask me questions about my work outs and everything. I did feel pressured and a bit uncomfortable for the same reasons that you wrote about.
The way I thought about my situation was that my boyfriend was being supportive and really interested it in what I was doing. He was supporting me being healthy and fit and I'm sure he was looking forward to be benefits of me looking better!
Try not to take it personally since your boyfriend fell in love with you when you were 20lbs heavier so obviously he loves you regardless :)
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie  +, writes (12 June 2008):
I dont think you are over reacting if he is telling you to work out then maybe he isn't as attracted to you as you think. However if he wants you to work out and he watches you then it might be a sexual fetish. Some men love to watch their girls work out because they get sweaty which turns them on for some reason.
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