A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do you build trust? Is it just given or does it have to be earned? My girlfriend has cheated on me and i'm thinking about giving her a second chance. But aren't you core beliefs like not lying set in stone from childhood. I'm confused, what is trust?, i need help.
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female
reader, MissKin +, writes (28 January 2008):
 Trust is a fluid concept that changes from person to person. Trust is usually being able to have faith in a person to never do you wrong, to feel you can rely on them for anything and knowing that they feel that they can come to you with anything. Trust MUST work both ways, or it isn't really trust at all.
Trust is hard to rebuild and it was wrong of her to do what she did. The fact that you want to give her a second chance is amazing of you and not many would be able to do it. You should talk to her about how you feel, try to rebuild the trust over time - you can not expect to have it snapped back into place, and you should tell her that it may take time before you feel like there is trust again.
However, saying that, people make mistakes. Did she cheat on you because she wanted to? because she got caught in the moment? Did she make a mistake? does she regret it? will she ever do it again? Does she want this relationship to work?
These are the sort of things you're going to need to ask her if you're going to rebuild your trust. People do things they regret sometimes. everybody does, but forgiving her and trying to carry on is up to you. Don't overlook the fact that she cheated though, as this may lead her to believe that what she did is OKAY with you and it obviously isn't and shouldn't be.
Whatever happens, i wish you all the best.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): Once your trust is broken then that is it for me, i just cannot bring myself to trust that person again. You are very strong and brave to give her a second chance. Trust is being able to let that person out of your site without wondering who she is going to meet while your back is turned, sorry, but she has broken that and i dont know how you will restore it. You have my best wishes.
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
You have been hurt your trust has been betrayed, Trust I belive is having faith in a person confidence and hope, If you want to forgive your g/f for what has happened hunny you will have to sit and talk and get to the real core of the problem as to why this happened I do hope you work things out and life becomes a little easier for you sweetheart WITH LOTS OF LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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