A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met my ex 8 years ago.. I was 17. We dated for only 3 months. We broke up because of stupid reason. Guess we were just young. We always remained good friends. But on and off a few times. We always hugged each other to sleep whenever we were watching a movie together or sleeping over. We spend almost all valentine's days together cuz we happen to be single. He has a kind of a playboy image(very handsome, rich, lotta attention) but he always treated me special during this 8 years unlike other girls. At a point he was so in love with me and he did everything to make me love him as much as he did. He planned a surprised trip to Paris.. Made my parents love him and a lot more things.. But i choose another guy over him and he was very hurt. He decided to leave the country. I asked for his forgiveness but it was too late.. He already made all the plans to leave.. He talked to my mother and forgave me because he has a soft spot for me. The first year he left he would write me letters and send me gifts. But slowly it diminished and we would only talk via e-mails. I am also good friends with his best friends and family, they practically watched me grow up. I am the only one he ever takes home! All his friends tells me i am very special to him, even his family says he cares deeply and treats me like their daughter. Everytime he is in town he takes care of me. One time i broke my leg while he was visiting town. He rushed to my house in the middle of the night to take care of me for a week(he lives miles away from me). I can feel he cares very very deeply. He told me im the only one he really loved in his life. This time he returned for a week. He bought me an expensive scarf and spend almost all this time with me again. He is still hugging me to sleep and babies me. He kisses me on my face and forehead while im sleeping but not my mouth. he told me once, we shouldnt have sex because he doesn't want to hurt me cuz he knows he has to leave. That's why he won't go any further. BUT during the day he acts hot and cold? Is this normal? I am not his gf anyway. His sister doesnt seem bothered, if i wake up in his arms? She is also my friend? Nobody around us seem to find it strange? They are so used to seeing him babying me! People always call ME if they are looking for him? We are not a couple anymore! I asked him a year ago what he wanted and he said he doesn't want a relationship with me EVER.. And he continues treating me like a princess? Why is he ALWAYS so sweet to me? He always asks if i have a bf? If im alright.. We do have a strong bond. I am so confused.. I would LovE to marry him.. even though i have hurt him real bad in the past. I think he's the one? But what is he thinking??? There are too many things he has done for me to mention.. He is special to me too.. I only allow HIM to hug/kiss me if im single. Im sorry i lied to him in the past. What does he want from me?? I feel strange whenever he is treating me like this.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 January 2010):
 He really loves you and is not asking you anything for return. Even though he can't be your boyfriend he still wants you to be happy. He treats you like his sister. You are expecting him to be bitter around you but instead he is being very open minded and caring, so you think this is weird. He can't have you because he knows you are not into him. He is sweet to you because he still likes you. You don't have to feel guilty around him, it's not your fault that you don't have feelings for him. Is he supposed to treat you in some other way? That's his way and there is nothing weird about it. If you feel uncomfortable you can see each other less. His family is also very open minded, they don't need you to be his wife to accept you into his family. Most families are not like that and you feel this is weird. I think they are all very positive people. Such people are a minority so you think this is weird. No matter what happens to them they will be happy so this is one trait you could learn from them.
He is continuing to treat you like a princess because you let him, and knows that you enjoy that. He is telling you, you don't need to love him back, whether you would develop feelings for him in the future would not matter. He is so ready to give love without expecting anything for return. Again this is rare and you are lucky to have such a friend. He has a beautiful soul and he does not need a relationship to be truly happy. I bet he would treat any girl this way.
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