A
male
age
30-35,
*randy_Man
writes:Dear Cupid,I am having a lot of trouble finding a girlfriend. I have to admit I am very shy going up to a complete stranger and asking her on a date. The only girls I have the courage to talk to are the ones that i meet at classes or in shows that i do which kinda require me to spend a good amount of time with them. I am a nice guy and i lost a whole lot of weight and i'm looking a lot better than i did in high school but i'm still really shy. I think that it might be that I've been rejected a lot when i ask a girl out or something. I've also been fucked by ex girlfriends by them doing messed up shit to me. Is there a secret code or something? Why am I afraid? What do I have to do? Do I have to go go plastic surgery or something? Do I have to go make myself look like a celebrity or something? Do i have to bug her so bad that she gives in? WHAT??? I hate being single. Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jaime90  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 i liked what vocals and rhythm said, that was cute. Yes! be yourself!
you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want YOU FOR YOU!
don't worry so much about the urgency of finding a girl.. one day you will and she will be with you because she likes who you are. maybe she will like a shy guy..
confidence is a huge turn on.. if you don't have it maybe you can try interacting with different people to get more confident.
no you do not need surgery to get a girl! how superficial is that? trust me no one expects their partner to look like celebrities.
good luck!
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (10 March 2010):
 Why do you want GF again, i think you just need to get laiid more often doesnt mean you should go out and get a gf, you had bad experiences with gf in the past you will just make the same mistakes again, there are plenty of hot women that will sleep with you and if you have some game theyll do it for free but hell you cant take the money with you, if you get a gf your goiing to be so desperate and needy shes just going to use you and take all your money and leave you when you kno longer suit her purose, once you realize sex is a comodity thats traded bought and sold like everything else and that u to can invest in it to your confidence will go up your needs will be satisfied, and then maybe it will be time for a gf
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A
female
reader, distancerunner4 +, writes (10 March 2010):
I'm sure you're beautiful and you deserve happiness. The most attactive thing on a man is confidence! If someone rejects you that is their loss. You only live once. I'm glad my boyfriend balled up and asked me out; we have been going strong for 2 years.
Good luck! Enjoy yourself, just have fun.
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A
male
reader, VocalsAndRhythmGuitarist  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 "What is the 'secret code" in finding a girlfriend???"
The secret code is:
B-e-_-Y-o-u-r-s-e-l-f
You might get a girl to fall in love with you by pretending to be something you're not, but are you willing to stop being you for the rest of your life in order to keep her in love with that FAKE YOU that you gave her? I think not, so all you can do is be yourself, always, and someday the right one will come, and I mean exactly the right one. One that will not make fun of you because you've never been in a relationship before, one that will not make fun of you if you were a virgin, etc.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 All you need is confidence and to be true to yourself. A girls will see the fakeness before you even talk to her. When you talk to someone just steer the conversation in a way that interests them. The classroom is the perfect place to meet someone, stop them after class and see if they would want to go out for coffee or something. Start off small and work your way up. A girl will come around eventually and see all that you have to offer.
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