A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my bf for around 3yrs now, he's my first bf and I love him a lot. Since a few weeks, though, I think I've been falling more and more in love with a girl who's a few years older than I am (around 10yrs I think) and I need some advice on what to do now.My bf and I have been having some issues lately. I've been doubting our relationship because I think I'm still so young and I don't know if I'm ready to make the decision of staying with him for the rest of my life because I'm so inexperienced still. I don't know if me falling for her has anything to do with the problems I'm having with my bf, if I'm like sort of 'sabotaging' my relationship, but I've noticed that I'm keeping more distance from him.I met her a few months ago, and we've been talking more and more since then. I'm not sure how she feels about me, but my gut tells me she's interested and there's some signs she gives me that confirm that (body language, choice of words, etc). I've never really fallen in love with a woman before, but when I'm with her I feel so much tension and the urge to kiss her. That's why I'm so confused, I've never had this for anyone except for my bf before.I wouldn't mind necessarily if it turns out I want to be with a woman, so I don't really need help accepting my possible change in sexuality, but I feel as if I should explore my feelings and I don't know what approach to take. I'm gonna be alone with her for a few hours later this week, and I'm wondering if I should tell my bf about my doubts before that - even though nothing might happen of course, but I don't want to be even more dishonest if something does. I guess I don't know what the right order of actions is, because when I do tell him I might hurt him for no reason because I might find out there's actually nothing there between her and me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2013): I agree with the above. A relationship is a relationship, just because she is a woman doesn't make it ok to be exploring it while in a relationship.You need to keep your distance from HER while you sort things out with your existing relationship with HIM.I've had the same thing come up, was with a guy for four years, had a long term friend who was bi and we became really close... I explored it and it wasn't worth it. It was fun and new and exciting, but it wasn't anything real or substantial. You are young, and this girl could just be your scapegoat for the doubt you already had in your relationship with him.I've been attracted to other men while with other people... it didn't make me want to change my sexuality to poly, I highly doubt you are in reality gay. I think that people are attracted to people - so sort out your relationship. It's about more than just attraction.
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