A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a guy for 10 years. He says he loves me and one day we will be married. He says he has a shitty relationhip with his frigid life.His wife went through IVF last spring and they were succesful in Nov. He now says he new nothing about it until the very last moment. I call bullshit on that. does anyone know the process
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (7 May 2009):
 Yes I am sniffing some smelly country air here. Basically if he wanted to be with you, he would have left his wife long ago. With IVF both partners have to go through a counselling programme as part of the medical ethics procedures for IVF. This makes them aware of risks, understand the process (which can be very emotional and drawn-out) and expensive! He would have been required to donate sperm in a clinic for the fertilisation of the eggs - he was hardly held down and forced to do this! He may have also done this several times because IVF usually takes a few attempts before a successful pregnancy is possible. I feel sorry for his wife going through the ordeal of infertility, IVF, having a baby and all for a waste of space husband who doesn't respect her. HIs wife isn't frigid, she is infertile and the doctors would have made the necessary inquiries into her bedroom activity before agreeing to IVF - obviously they must have been having a fairly active sex life to have established that she was unable to have children the natural way.
Personally I would treat this as a lesson - many people engaged in extra marital affairs are pathological liars, they manipulate people to get what they want (i.e. sex from you). Walk away and find someone single!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): Yes, you're right to call bullshit. The IVF process is long and involved. He's been leading you on. You have been played. End it.
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