A
female
age
,
*bsolutely texan
writes:I've been dating a great guy for 7 months. We enjoy doing everything together, and became emotionally connected many months ago. We are comfortable with each other in every way (especially the bedroom!) and love each other. We live approximately 30 minutes apart. He is happy with the following schedule - Friday night thru Monday morning (with the exception of working Sat morning and errands Sat afternoon) and Wednesday after work till Thurs morning. This leaves 3 nights a week (Mon, Tue and Thurs) where we don't see each other. He does not go out or see anyone else. He calls (from his home) on the nights we are not together. He says he just needs time to decompress and do absolutely nothing for these nights alone. I feel like it's too much time apart for the level of the relationship. What is "normal" for a very committed relationship? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): You spend a lot of time together on the weekends - 3 nights, Friday to Monday morning. Its not surprising that he needs time to decompress three days a week - and he does talk to you on the phone when you are not with him, you know!
YOU need time to yourself, too. You have things to do (laundry, etc.) including a night out with your women friends. You cannot expect to be together 24/7, in addition to which, to spend almost every waking moment together is not good in the long run for your relationship.
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (21 February 2007):
 No, he's right to have his own space some of the time. If you tell him you want to see more of him you'll only put pressure on him and push him away. Let him tell YOU he wants to see you more. In the meantime I would use those 3 nights to catch up on things you can't get done when you're with your boyfriend. Take time out to pamper yourself a bit too. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, remember that. As your relationship grows and deepens he will want to see you more, until then be happy with the time you have together. Some girls only see their boyfriends once a week sometimes even less.
Enjoy your time together and take time out for yourselves too.
Eve
...............................
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (21 February 2007):
 I think your boyfriend is doing the right thing. From observing happy couples as a young person, the most successful ones are the ones who recognise the importance of time apart to chill or to follow their own hobbies and interests. You'll always read the odd heartrending story in a magazine about a couple who didn;t spend a night apart in 70 years until one of them dies but the general rule is that healthy relationships require time apart and you never go more than two days without seeing each other. Give it time. Once you've been together a year it might be time to consider moving in together but I think that for now you're both doing the best thing possible for your relationship.
CD
...............................
|
