A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:What is the best way to stay out of gossip at school and not look like you are trying to be too goody goody? I hate it when the girls get catty because I was on the receiving end once and the only way I got out of it was to change schools and keep a low profile. But I really think there must be some good ways to stay safe and not be targeted by them but also not look like I am being a snob to them? Any idea would be appreciated please Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI cannot believe how good the advice is that I get to read here is. So many good ideas.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (14 May 2011):
 Don't reward gossipy behavior. You are right to want to avoid it, because it can be exceedingly mean spirited and unkind at times.Boys often try to assert their 'place' and try to work out where they are in the 'pecking order' and some, sadly indulge in violence or fights to ascertain their 'place'.Girls, for similar reasons often resort to gossip, but gossip when it gets out of hand can be a form of bullying. Spreading untrue rumors designed to cause distress and hurt to others, without even knowing if the rumor is true or false, or even worse if they know it is untrue is a form of bullying.You have already experienced how harmful it is.First try to give more of your time and support to those who do not gossip. But if you do start to see gossip starting to escalate and getting nasty, then look down at your watch as if you are meant to be elsewhere and just get up and say, 'got to go' They will not stop you, they will just assume you need to go somewhere. Even if they assume you mean the bathroom just smile, if they ask, and quietly leave. You do not need to explain why, you have already said what will get you away from them. Or if you are in a 'captive,' unable to leave situation such as a sleepover, then invent a distraction, one that would seem plausible to them. Comment on something else, as if you did not hear their gossip. Like 'I don't know how I'm going to finish that history assignment' as if that is where your head is.When you show distress or verbally try to stop the gossip continuing or try to add to the gossip by defending the rights of the person who is the subject of the gossip then the gossipy girls are likely going to turn their attention on you. Don't even try, it will not help you. So you are right to just act as if you never heard it.The more you distance yourself from people who do gossip the better. Leave them in their own little circle of intrigue and gossip. They think they have more influence than is true.And the more you build a network of friends who do not gossip then you will be able to look, at those who gossip, from a distance and realise they just like to gossip, but see no harm in it. Let them think that. It's their business to think what they like.But keeping safe, deciding to interact/speak with/speak about people respectfully and without gossiping is a sign of maturity. So is considering the feelings of other a sign of maturityYou sound responsible. Gossip can be hurtful, and you recognise that to be true.You will not seem snobby by walking away. Those who spread gossip are usually fascinated by gossip. As long as it seems that you have something else consuming your thoughts and act as if you need to leave, and leave quietly, purposefully without a lot of drama and noise, then they are likely to take your departure as something you need to do.Or say you are in the Mall with them? Then just notice a shop you just 'have to check out', you might even ask, anyone want to check it out with me? This way you act as if their gossip is just a sideshow, and what you have something more pressing for you to deal with.Good luck.
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A
female
reader, redlipzxx  +, writes (14 May 2011):
I LOVE GOSSIP ! best thing ever
but spose not for everyone, so as soon as sum1 tries to say sumfin gossipy put your fingerws in ur ear and go lalalalalal
REDLIPZXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011): We have the same problem at my school with pathetic gossip. The best way to stay out of the spot light is to not gossip with anyone and try your best not to listen to it, you don't have to ignore your friends or anything like that but just try your best to stay away from it and if someone starts gossiping to you then just don't say anything and don't agree with anything they say. Just say 'it's really none of my business, or yours' and leave it at that. If they want to keep gossiping then they'll be the ones that get in trouble not you. I've been the target of gossip once because I trusted one friend with a secret and she couldn't keep her trap shut. Since then I've never told anyone my secrets, I don't comment on other people's gossip and only yesterday 2 of my friends were gossiping and I literally got up and walked to the other side of the room and sat with the boys because I know they don't gossip. Besides the boys are pretty funny so even though I wasn't with my friends I still had a good time and no one called me snobby, they just accepted that I didn't want to be a part of any gossip and runours. So the best way is just to ignore gossip and keep your secrets to yourself, you can't go wrong and if someone calls you snobby then just shrug it off because you know you're not upsetting anyone and no one will upset you later on. Good luck
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A
male
reader, Sparta +, writes (14 May 2011):
 Best way; is to just not care what others think and do your own thing. Try to always do what is right for you; and what is morally right. It's hard but it will be good for you even further than the gossip. When my friend got his lady pregnet freshmen year of highschool. Now that was some gossip; him being my best friend I was still there to help him out. No gossip touched me. Just have to be yourself and do what you think is right :)
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