A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I ask this question because I'm kind of all over the plave right now, I don't really know what to do and am in need of guidance. You see, this guy knows I like him, right? Now the way he found out, I pretty much was upfront with him about it, saying I had a small crush on him. Now, the end result of that was him ensuring me that he doesn't see why I would not have a chance.(If this makes sense) the only thing is that he still has feelings for his ex girlfriend. He says they broke up because things got complicated when he moved away from France. And I get that, I mean, I wouldn't be ready to date again if I was in his shoes. He does say that he'd rather her be happy with another guy.But even then, I know for him it's still hard. So, I bounced back a bit and we just talked and got to know each other as friends.As I got to know him though, spend more time with him, I really started to like him. To me, he is a unique individual, well-rounded and intelligent and he challenges me(like he doesn't sugarcoat things) He speaks his mind and I like that. I feel, now, that I don't need to be afraid of being direct with him because I know he will be direct with me. I wouldn't say he's 'nice' because he teases me in a pull your hair kind of way(though it's all in good fun) he's just, him I guess XDThough, on top of that, he is very touchy, without any regard for personal space. He will play flirt a lot with the girls but just to make them feel uncomfortable. Like a little cassa nova and so he did that to me once and I was highly disturbed because I was hugging my friend because he was' tantalizing' her ahaha and he snuck up behind me and tickled my sides then held my stomach, that of which he does to my friend , and I didn't like it. So I texted him and told him to stop.Now this is the part where I got stuck, so I told him not to do that and he agreed but I asked him if he truly understood why I didn't want him touching me like that. And his exact words were "In your case it is because I am currently not interested in you romantically" I was really glad that he understood and I pretty much told him how I felt once again and he was very accepting of it, then I said like "I hope you are not treating this indifferently because you seem so blase about girls telling you they like you" (He really does) But he was like "Not at all, I take into deep consideration your confession"So now, after this I'm trying to decide what I should do now, I am all over the place because I don't know if it is time to be patient, see what happens, and to just keep hanging out with him because I notice how careful his words were "currently" and "deep". Or if I should distance myself away from him because like when we talk, we get along awesome and I make him laugh( yay!) And he'll tease me a lot or play with me like I may say " Why are you always messing with meee, I thought we were friends, man!" And he would say "Because your fun........to mess with :P"But he will not treat me affectionately as he does other girls(though he says he flirts with girls randomly to make them uncomfortable), which is good because he I asked him not to unless he meant it, but he doesn't even hug me at all and we did talk about how that was an ok thing to do. I don't know, I just kinda feel like I'm annoying him or this is his way of showing his disinterest, but what he assures me of says otherwise and since we are so direct towards each other, I doubt he would lie for the sake of my feelings because the way we talk to each other it's always like "Forget feelings. I'm gonna tell you like it is! XD" which is something I cherish about our relationship.Plus, another reason why I think I may be doing too much is because I text him all the time(he doesn't like phones so he won't text unless texted, really) but he never like said "Hey! I'm busy" or "you text me too much" like he isn't bothered by it at all. He says I'm not annoying at all, that he basically likes poking fun at me, and that he doesn't think I'm common either, he thinks the opposite. The reasons why I keep being around him is because a part of me is saying "You should wait and see if he likes you, he just might like you, he might be treating you this way because he is 'waiting' too" but another part of me is saying "Move on because if he was interested in you he would act differently, like he'd want to get to know you more and talk to you more instead of teasing you and so and so," I honestly would distance myself from him because I'm so crazy about him but then it's like "ehhh, but what good will that you, I'd be giving him no chance to develop feelings for me :/"I don't know which is which. What is the best thing to do?
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female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (4 October 2012):
 I see this scenario as he is not sure of your small crush so he doesn't want to be hurt too. He may feel you just want sex or friends with benefits and he wants more. You and him should communicate if you plan on just letting whatever happen happens. Or will you work at a serious relationship and friendship. The best thing I would just be myself and let the magic work itself out. He likes you and you like him what is stopping you two?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2012): Hi there! The best thing to do, if you feel like your not ready to distance yourself from him don't do so. Once in my life, i was so head over heels in love with my ex bf. He was my world. i gave up everything for him, friends, family, my job everything just to be with him and make him happy. I was in a stupid mode at that time in my life.I knew all along i was wrong hanging on with him. But i still went along with it. Until i got tired and sick of it.And i eventually, gave up. What I'm saying is, there's nothing wrong for you to continue hoping he would reciprocate the way you feel for him, its o'k for you to continue being friends with him and see him, text him anytime you want. Even tell him you love him as much as you want. Until the day comes he will develop true feelings for you. But if that day never comes, you will end up with regrets and embarrass for how you acted towards him. so do you want to have that kind of regrets? Did you know that guys also talked behind our back and calls us stalkers whenever we initiate to contact them? Crazy right? but that's what i discovered. But not all guys.Well, the best things to do are the ff:1. If your not ready to distance yourself, then don't.2. Keep in touch but minimize it as much as possible.Then keep yourself beautiful, at all times you get to see each other. Who knows one day things will change...
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 I honestly think you are hoping and praying for something that is just never going to happen here. Yes I can see that you really like him as so much more than a friend, but he is simply not interested in you that way. I would however not take that personal. I just think at this moment this guy wants to be single and enjoy himself. He likes flirting with girls that is easy to see and he is not shy either, he knows exactly the effect he has on girls. I doubt it is just you that has a crush on him. I know he says he will be upfront with you and he text's back when you write to him, but to me it sounds like he enjoys the attention he gets from you but that is about it. He knows not to tell you he is never going to be interested because you will stop giving him the attention that he needs for his ego. My only fear here is that you are going to end up getting your hopes up way to much and end up badly hurt. You need to accept that he is not any more than a friend and distance yourself from him.
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