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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: This maybe bizarre and I am not sure why I am asking this as its a vague question. But what do you think the average time is for liking somebody ? Last year a girl started working with us who had a chap , and well I just worked with her as a mate .. but after a while we started to really get on well and there was minor flirting but nothing major but we both started liking each other. Now of course I never did anything and she has now got another job and is engaged. we do speak now and then on FB and text , but when ever we do she can easily make me smile and laugh , heck some of the things she just does makes me laugh.Now I am not at all thinking of some how getting with her .. as she is already engaged and well I would never stand a chance. But I do not find many girls I actually get on with or like .. and she was the first for a long time .thanks for reading if you have
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2015): The OP here.
Thank you guys for the answers . I just found it annoying that little things would make me smile thinking about her and well I guess I wouldn't actually mind to actually feel that way about my own girlfriend lol
I do not know it doesn't help I struggle to meet girls I get on with or like .
thanks again guys .
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2015): OP, in my experience, probably a year…I've only ever really liked maybe 5 guys in my life (I'm 24 btw)…but the last one ended up liking me too (he was my first BF), and we've been together for a year. so, you never know what will happen :)
(once you get over the girl who's engaged, of course!)
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (8 January 2015):
 'm not sure there's a set time or you ever "get over" someone you iked a whole lot. One axiom I have found that seems to be true is your taste changes every seven years. Probably not applicable here but interesting just the same.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2015): I think you're really asking how long does it take to get over somebody? That's not a bizarre question. It is a totally sensible and legitimate question. I guess it all depends on how much you really like them. If you focus entirely on them your every waking moment; you will delay detachment, and there could be a very long-time before you stop having feelings.
You have to accept things as they are, and stop trying to pretend you're just a friend. You really want more, and using friendship as your disguise.
If you do things to distract your thoughts, like dating other people, or getting on with your normal life; it helps the feelings to fade.
I might recommend that you discontinue the talks on Facebook and limit contact altogether. You're feeding your cravings for her attention that way. You need to focus someplace else and break contact. Then your mind has a chance to adjust to the reality that she belongs to someone else.
Go workout at a gym, take up a an activity that requires you to use a lot of discipline and concentration. Find a hobby to fill your idle time. If you don't, you'll go running to Facebook to chat her up, or read her updates.
You want what you can't have, so it makes you want her even more. That's why you won't get over her.
See other women, and start asking other ladies out. Infatuations only linger if you don't keep your mind busy and off the person you're obsessing over.
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