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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I know this is probably asked around a lot, but I just can't help but feel awful.I've checked out porn, and while yeah, some porn starts have downright UGLY faces, make squirrel like sounds (how can you guys get off to that pitch?) and most have awful hair and make up... their bodies. God. I know most have implants, some have very crappy boob jobs, but some have amazing looking breasts. Toned stomachs, buttocks and legs. Slim. Wow.I know porn is fantasy and a lot of tricks are done to make them look perfect, but wow, they have great looking bodies. In reality, they probably look better than mine anyway. I feel bad about myself. I know guys aren't that picky when it comes to sexual partners, but still, I can't help but feel ugly and unsexy in comparison. Of course I may be hot in somebody's eyes, but maybe to that same somebody I'd be hotter if I had such a body. Otherwise why would porn be filled with those kind of girls? Guys must think those girls are the hottest specimens!My therapist told me that men look and it's normal but it means nothing and that I have to embrace my normal beauty, and that just as I appreciate normal beauty in guys, so do they. But still, I wish I had a body like that! Obviously if guys fantasize about it must be because it's the epitome of hotness. Guys, what makes those girls so hot? Girls, how can I improve my body image and just deal with it? I wanna feel better about myself!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): "Do you really think if these men had even a chance with the women in porn they wouldn't dump us in a flash...they are not with us because they CHOOSE us over the porn stars"
LOL.... tehhehehhe.... sorry, Ms anonymous... but your really need to go out with better men. No man I've ever known would trade me for a porn star. That's like exchanging me for a blow up doll... LOL..... Oh yea, like I'm really gonna change my guy that likes reading books and martial art for Leonard Di Caprio, a guy that is handsome but is as thick as shit..... Please give me a break.
Guys go out with real women with lumps, bumps, faults and hangups and personality and skills. The don't go out with fantasy made up beings. Even the pornstars have husbands and boyfriends at home. Don't you think the shit and sweat and have off days and periods as well. Guys know this and understand this, how come women forget what real women do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): I think the anonymous lady who quoted hislilgoobear has a very distorted view of how men view porn.
It's titillation, and it's mainly little boys that play with their willies whilst watching it for lack of the real thing. Porn gets very boring after a while. Faked orgasms left and right, and abnormally hung men who are either on Viagra or cocaine to 'keep it up' for hours on end.
For most men it's plain curiosity to see another man in action, and if ever there's a porn actress having a real orgasm it's a rarity but nice to watch. (if you PM me I'll send you a link to a beauty!) I obviously can't speak for all men, but I think that porn actresses with silicone knockers the size of rugby balls placed 8 inches apart are like something out of a circus freakshow. Their acting ability certainly wouldn't win them any Oscars and the narrative droning on with fake "Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh yeah" isn't at all imaginative. Basically, once you've seen one you've seen half of them.
We don't compare our wives or girlfriends to porn actresses. What man would honestly REALLY want one of those for a partner?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): hislilgoobear says'It IS just a fantasy, my man told me that he doesn't even masterbate to these women he just looks at them to be curious. My man says MY name in bed not pandora peaks or chloe viera, he says mine and he tells ME that he loves me, he'll never say that he loves those girls, he just enjoys there bust size every once in awhile. Actually he doesn't even like boobs to be ginormous, but he likes to look at them. So for me I should take that as a compliment, because in the end I have the body that he would rather settle down with."That answer would be hilarious if it weren't such a sad fact that many women fool themselves into believing this.....Do you really think if these men had even a chance with the women in porn they wouldn't dump us in a flash...they are not with us because they CHOOSE us over the porn stars....they have NO choice...most of them couldn't get a porn star in their wildest dreams so they SETTLE for us...lets face it, if your partner really had a choice of you or a porn star I can pretty much guarantee most men wouldnt choice their wives or the mothers of their kids for a romp in the sack...sure they want us for all the housework and baby incubators but when it comes down to the bodies they desire you wont find a sag or stretch mark in sight on mainstream porn women...this just proves what they really want...but imagine if they admitted that to women...no sex for them....so they let us know covertly with their porn
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female
reader, hislilgoobear  +, writes (22 July 2008):
 I too share the same problem with my boyfriend, however I have spent the past two days reading questions similar to this one and writing my own. By doing this I got a pretty good idea of why porn has become such a big thing for men and why it's usually always the busty skinny looking girls. My boyfriend would look up the busty skinny ugly girls with abnormally shaped boobs they were so big. However, it is me that he comes home to every night and he isn't trying to find that girl to immitate these porn stars physical appearances. It IS just a fantasy, my man told me that he doesn't even masterbate to these women he just looks at them to be curious. My man says MY name in bed not pandora peaks or chloe viera, he says mine and he tells ME that he loves me, he'll never say that he loves those girls, he just enjoys there bust size every once in awhile. Actually he doesn't even like boobs to be ginormous, but he likes to look at them. So for me I should take that as a compliment, because in the end I have the body that he would rather settle down with. And you never know maybe them watching this porn keeps them from becoming bored with your relationship, seeing the same thing day in and day out. Now looking back at it all I feel kind of silly why, well I will tell you I think that I would rather see him looking at porn than finding some other girl on the street to fulfill his fantasies.As far as your body hun, you have to find yourself beautiful before any man will. They find self confidence much more attractive in a woman than how busty she is or thick she is. Take the time to find your own inner qualities and try to see the best in you your own personal beauty and they will see it too. It will just glow off of you.I wish you all of luck it's going to be hard but you HAVE to find your beauty or your problem won't become fixed. This is a problem that can't fix itself however it won't take as much physical attention as you think that it would, you just need to learn to love yourself before someone else can. Some one once told me that you can't have a happy relationship if you can't be happy by yourself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): Hi babes,
I'm not sure what country you come from, but did you know that the average size for a woman in the UK is 14-16 and getting larger by the day. The world has an obesisity problem, everybody is getting fatter.
If you want to feel better about yourself, you need to stop watching other women and comparing yourself to them. So some girls in porn are beautifull, well lucky for them. It didn't get them very far though did it. All their beauty brought was a whole pile of men and sex on camera with strangers, in front of the whole world. So you want to be beautifull like them, do you also want to do their job too.
How about Holywood stars and people in the movie. They look beautifull too. Do you go to a movie and come out crying because your not as beautifull as the women on the screen. Fantasy is fantasy. Now the Queen of England is real, she's very rich. Should I get upset because I don't have as much money and diamonds as her? NO!!! Because it's a stupid waste of time.
You got to learn to love yourself and be proud of who you are. I learnt from a early age that no matter how I try, I'm not gonna be as beautifull or elegant as my friends, especially the one who looks like a model. So I made do with what I got. I can talk to men, I'm funny and like to have a laugh, so that's what I do. In fact I forget all about the beauty thing and usually dress like I'm a boy too. I don't know but it still seems to turn the men on, they say they love the way I walk, it seems I got good posture. They also love the way I'm so understanding about how they feel, so guess what girlfriend, ugly girls do ok too.
Now I want you to go to the swimming pool, shopping centre or park. Anywhere that normal women hang out. Stay there for an hour, stay there for two and look at all the people that pass you by. This is the reality of life babes, real people have lumps and bumps and spots, they have bad hair cuts. Look at the couples, you'll see pretty girls with ugly guys, you'll see pretty guys with ugly girls. You'll see beautifull couples arguing in the streets or ignoring each other because their relationship is bad.
Stop comparing yourself to others, your wishing your life away. If you want to become more beautiful, do what the Uncles suggest and go to the gymn, lose weight. Practise putting on makeup really good, go and change your haircut and buy some new clothes. It's a waste of time thinking "why can't I be as beautifull as the girls in porn?".... Because your not made that way. Be glad for what you've got and make the best of yourself, your life and any relationships you decide to enter into.
Good luck, don't worry.... If you really can't stand it, then save some money, go and see a plastic surgeon and with some surgery, you can look like a porn star too.
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (22 July 2008):
 Well, you hit the nail on the head when you said these women are selling a fantasy. That's it. A fantasy. These women are nothing more than imaginary people. Let me explain...
Men, like women, sometimes daydream about their perfect partner, namely a woman. What she will look like, how she will dress, what she will do for him (sexually and non), her hair, makeup, breasts, butt, etc. We think about these things - but it's necessarily what we want. Just like women see a fairly tall, handsome, muscular (ripped chest, abs, big arms, muscular back) man and salivates at the sight, it's not necessarily what she wants.
And then there are the fantasies. Just silly daydreaming about doing sexual things with different types of women you might not otherwise think about. And that's where porn makes its money. Porn has something for everyone; tall, short, hairy vagina, shaved vagina, black, white, asian, midgets, squirters, screamers, size queens (taking abnormally large penises and pretending to enjoy it), large breasts - HUGE breasts, small breasts, BBW (big beautiful women), paraplegics ...the list goes on. Men don't necessarily "want" to be with these women, but might wonder what it's like to be. Then they watch some other men having sex with these women and that, in most cases fullfills the fantasy.
Most men, after watching porn, don't necessarily go looking for these women to have sex with, they look for the normal women in society. Women with goals, dreams, and aspirations. I'm not saying the women in porn don't have these qualities, but that's not why men watch porn. They don't watch porn and say "oh yeah, she really wants to be a nurse..."
So don't think about the fake women in porn - because the reality is, they are all fake. Even the real women are fake because they are selling something most men can't have, them! And we really don't want them, we want you. The natural beauty in a naturally beautiful woman. THAT's what we want. So don't fret. Hold your head up and know that your man wants you for you, not how loud you can scream or how many golf balls you can shove in your cooter :)
Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): No simple answer there, some guys think one porn actress is super hot and other guys like a different one better.For me for example implants and other obvious forms of plastic surgery are a turn off, I prefer women with beautiful faminine facial features and natural breasts.I know my friends share different tastes, some would consider a woman ass more important and so on..I think that beyond the physical, the attitude and charsima of these actresses is also a very important part what makes them more attractive. Again different prefernce work for different guys.Some like the openly promiscus woman others like the dorky but secretly very kinky woman...You didnt really say whats your problem? I think that if you feel your body figure is unattractive go to the gym or do yoga and eventually you end up with a well toned body.Being self consious about it and feeling unsexy is also a problem because it subliminaly disrupts any natural sexy behavior you might have so work on that.
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A
male
reader, coolicoolicool  +, writes (22 July 2008):
 i find that with me, it's not the look's, it's just the sex in porn. that may sound weird to you. i'm sure your not that ugly. and to answer your other question, just good diet and excercise. sincerely - coolicoolicool
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