A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm 16 and really confused of my sexual orientation. when it comes to porn/sex i definitely like straight. i hate watching gay anal and also lesbian sex. when it comes to dating, marraige, life partners; i DEFINITELY want a girl. BUT this is the part that confuses me; when watching porn or thinking of sex, i like to look more at the guy than the girl and find male masturbating more attractive than female. all of my fantacies r with girls but it's just that little porn watching part that confuses me!!! plz help and be as accurate as you can when determining my orientation!!! this thought is just driving me crazy!!
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male
reader, Sandman +, writes (4 January 2010):
 Sexual orientation has more to do with who you identify your sexual partners to be. Pornography is not a good foundation to base sexual orientation on.
In pornography, you are watching both male and female actors engage in sexual intercourse. By doing so, you ARE looking at both male AND female body parts and are getting turned on by what you see. That's the whole point. If you didn't get turned on by what you saw, then there would be no point to making porn, right?
Furthermore, there is nothing "gay" about looking at men and their bodies. You probably find men masturbating more "attractive" because you can identify with what is taking place on the screen. While watching a woman may turn you on, you can "feel" the man masturbating because you know have done this same thing yourself.
I once heard an argument that every man who watches porn and masturbates is gay in some respect because he is getting turned on by looking at another man's penis. I don't agree with that statement fully. I see attractive men all the time and think to myself "wow, he's a good looking guy!" That doesn't make me gay just because I find him to be attractive. The same goes with porn. You see penises in most all porn movies and pictures. Just because you find the figures in the movie or pictures to be attractive which happen to belong to a male doesn't make you gay - it simply means you find the figures in the movie or pictures to be attractive. That's all.
Acting on the desires to want to be with a person of the same sex and identify yourself with that culture and lifestyle is what makes you gay.
Hope this helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): It's not wrong to be bi-sexual. I am definitely attracted to women and NOT men, but I find sex with both equally stimulating. You are not wrong for liking both, but I suspect you lean toward girls. Go with that for now... See what happens as you mature.
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