A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am thanking you open-minded guys in advance.To make my story short, I'm having an affair with a married guy. I met him when I was still a medical representative and we both have same area. For the first time we met I knew I liked him. Knowing he's married I still continue having an affair for almost a year. At first I learned it was just an excitement or something new. But now I'm very in love with him. Sometimes it really hurts when I know he's having hard time dividing himself for me, his work, and for his family. I know he loves me and I do really love him and accept him for what he is. I'm having second thought about us and want to end this soon. I know i'ts crazy but I don't have the strength and courage of being left by him.
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (4 January 2010):
 Your married lover is no doubt having sex with his wife...and if he had to make a choice between you and his wife...she would win.You offer him excitement,your a forbidden fruit...but he's not really in love with you.If he was,he would be making plans to leave his Mrs and start a proper future with you...but he's not.If you carry on with this man, you will eventually become depressed, anxious...jealous, bitter, lonely...the list is endless...do you want this really? Get out now, i know it wont be easy but think about it...your married lover isn't fretting over you, he's still having his cake and eat it.Meet a single man who will give you all his undivided love and attention you deserve.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): I am a man having an affair with a single woman who fills my sexual desires where my wife does not. I love my wife, and love the sex with my other woman.
You are good sex to him. Can you live with that? If so, no harm no foul. If you want him o leave everything for you, when the rules at the beginning were just sex, then you need to end it. You got emotionally involved, which you should never do when in the role you are in.
My girl knows this is great sex and loves it, she gets me off so fine, but she knows she can never own me.
Hope that hearing it from 'the guy doing it' is good for you. If you dont want just sex, let him go and meet a guy who loves you for you. If the sex is enough, be happy getting laid. But never shortchange yourself.
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A
female
reader, lipsnperoxide +, writes (4 January 2010):
From what you have written it seems like you were lured by the exciting spell of forbidden love. It was initially exciting and you probably felt a great thrill that this man was willing to risk his wife and family for you. Feeling wanted is something everyone desires, it's natural.
Having affairs with married men is considered taboo for a reason. The reason he is having trouble dividing his time is because the expectations of his work and family are probably enough to fill up every hour of the day, never mind having a girlfriend on the side.
From a completely open-minded perspective this guy is not the one for you, plain and simply. You've probably braced yourself to hear this and your love for this man makes you believe it's not worth listening to. You deserve better than being some married man's bit on the side and you do have the courage and strength to break yourself free from this arrangement to find yourself someone who will devote themselves entirely to you. You say you have second thoughts and those second thoughts are for a good reason.
Get yourself out of this before it gets messy, when / if his family find out about his infidelity imagine the strength and courage his wife will have to muster up to keep her pride.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): Leave him. Unless you can be content being a footnote in his life, this situation is clearly not working for you. I believe people can change and that just because someone cheats once doesn't mean they'll cheat again. That being said, MOST people do NOT change. Even if he eventually leaves his wife, if he does get together with you that doesn't mean he won't be looking for more excitement once his relationship with you feels too stable. Cut your losses sooner, rather than later.
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