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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi,i need some opinions,as i'm confused, at one moment then the other i know exactly what I am, and what I want.I'm 22yr old male, and since my teens I always had a sexual attraction to guys, but i knew that as I got older I'd marry a dream woman, have kids and things would be ok, and everyone else would be happy, and with time I'd accept it, and hopefully my feelings would grow day by day for her.Well, 2years ago, i meet a gentleman, and he was in a straight relationship. at first we were friends, he wasn't happy in that current relationship, and they weren't happy for several months before I came into the picture, we got closer, and our feeling got stronger, and we fell in love while getting to know eachother, and we are bestfriends, soulmates, and we want to marry.I bless the day that i found him, i love him very much, and he loves me too.When I chat with him, and when I'm with him, I clearly know that my place is with him.However if I never meet him, I would have eventually found a female partner, and settled down.Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to be in a heterosexual relationship, as my relationship with my man, was my first ever, so I've never had intercourse with a woman. before, when I'd fantasise, I'd always think of a guy, and when I was trying to convince myself that I was straight, I'd try picture a sexy woman,but I couldn't get AS excited as apossed to thinking about a man.i wonder If I had been with a woman before, maybe I would have liked it and change, but then i think that I cant change what, and who I am inside, and my preference, but id make that sacrifice to make family and friends happy.I find woman attractive, but not sexual, but with my partner we're connected mentally, physically, sexually, emotionally and spiritually.Am I gay? Or bi, even thou i've never been with a woman, am I fooling myself into thinking that Im straight only to be accepted as a straight hetro? I come across as very straight, but I haven't been in any physical relationship with anyone else, mostly because I felt i wasn't ready, and because I was not attracted to the girls, I was attracted to the guys?Please help, im scared, Ive been hiding secretly. My partner hasn't told anyone about us, as he can see that I'm scared, but when I'm ready he wants to tell some people, and he doesn;t care about who likes it or not because we love eachother and we have eachother.If I had to chose my sexuality and not be judged and make my family mad, I'd choose to be with men.Sorry for the long story, I'm sure I've repeated myself over my times, but I'm seriously confused, and I need someone with another perspective.Thank you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Your first paragraph shocked me, like what you wrote was better way of explaining my feelings then i could even explain. Infact most of your story really read me like a book. I have been kicking my feelings around about my sexuality for years but am set on going for guys but always feel like I should atleast try having sex with a girl before turning to the "dark" side and dissapointing family and friends. I think that I will keep it a secret (atleast from my family) till I find someone special. I hope to find something even half as good as what you got.
Nosey Anomynous 20yr old
A
male
reader, greg +, writes (27 January 2006):
Oh lovely you. Don't worry about a thing. You have obviously made your choice and you seem to be having the time of your life - so why put a label on it! I am gay, 33, and I often wonder what life would be like if I had chosen the heterosexual path - but I chose not to because I find men attractive. And that is that.Does it really matter who you fall in love with? Love is love and I wish my partner loved me at the moment as I don't think he does and I am having the most awful time. You don't know how lucky you are to be in a loving relationship which is equal with love on both sides. You should feel proud of yourself about that and just enjoy it. Life if too short for ifs and buts, you have found happiness so why not give it a chance? Just continue as you are and enjoy life. It seems you have it made. Lucky you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2006): Hi, well you really are beating yourself up about this and tying yourself in knots, you are who you are and that is that, currently you preffer men and my guess it will stay that way but who knows what the years will bring, you have what sounds like a wonderful partner and at the moment that feels right, go with this dont fight it, time to come out of the closet and be who you want to be, be brave and strong, remember nothing is ever as bad as what you suspect it to be, I would bet people around you already suspect you preffer men to women. life is about living and not worrying about tommorow or next year, dont worry about pople`s predudices that is there problem and not yours, Just stop worring about who you think you should be and be you. Good luck!! But start being you today dont put it off any longer.
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