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male
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*ifereal
writes: Dear Cupid,I appreciate the role your site is offering to so many who are faced with problems of their choice. Please i encourage you to keep ahead with the good job.I fell in love with a certain girl in 2002 and we have been going on well even though i discovered in 2003 that she was cheating on me. The guy who she was going out with came to me and told me about it. Lucky enough when i asked her about it, she did not object but wept bitterly asking for a second chance. I consulted and decided to love her again. Since then i have managed to make feel secure in my hands but looks like she is not comfortable especially now that she has gone to a college and I have secured an employment in another district about 800km. Things have gone worse now after i asked her for a hand in marriage! We agreed and set dates on this matter but she has asked me to cancel the whole plan because she feels that I dont trust her enough to marry her. She says unless i clear her on anything i once heard or accused her of then we gonna tie a knot.I therefore find it disturbing and time wasting because this has come as a surprise to me. The other thing you need to know is that Our affair is veritable to all and its like all eyes are on us. My parents are waiting for me to make a move but she has let me down. Is there any future to this affair? We haven't talked for close to four days now. Please am heart broken and i have been in bed for two days. Its painful and i have been desparate on this.Help me please.Lifereal
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (6 February 2006):
 Good morning Gift and thanks for the up date, you come across to me as a fantastic and caring guy, she has lost a wonderfu partner and will one day realise this, but in the here and now I am sorry for your break up but in my heart I feel it is for the best, you have inner strength and this will help you to break this sad news to family and friends, she must also play a part in this as you have both just come to the end of a long road and are now at a crossroads, you have new journeys with new partners to look forward.
Make sure you grieve the loss of this relationship fully before moving on to the next one but dont take to long as there are lots of loving women out there just waiting for you to be there prince charming, go get you some fun.
Good luck, be happy and be strong.
A
male
reader, lifereal +, writes (31 January 2006):
lifereal is verified as being by the original poster of the question Dear CupidThrough you let me update all the readers of my current situation as regards the issue i raised.Firstly i would like to thank Mary,Smeedle and Shania for their constructive advices. I may say that they showed me a way to the solution.At the moment we have talked over it and looks like she still mentain her stand. Its a suprise really to my life especially the way she talks to me. Its like she has already given up. She has seeked some avenues of relief.At the end of the conversation we have reached an agreement that we need to part after we have seen that we cant solve the wraggle as she appears to have no time to recapture what actually brought as together in the first place.Like i said there lays a task of breaking the news to parents and friends. I dont know how should i go about it. I am trying to be okay and cool though am hurt.Once again I appreciate your advice.Gift
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female
reader, mary +, writes (27 January 2006):
Marriage is definitely not the answer to your problems. The only way to get through this is by talking it over with no distractions from other people. You must tell her how you are feeling and get her to do the same. Maybe go away together and try and recapture what brought you together in the first place. Something must have been wrong for her to look somewhere else for comfort and she wasn't even the one to tell you that she was having an affair. Communication is the key and you will find out whether this relationship is worth fighting for. Good Luck
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female
reader, shania +, writes (27 January 2006):
 Hey.....if you wont get out of bed,then i'm coming in with you..ok? Now i know you are hurting and i do feel for you but this girl isnt for you. She has made a excuse up to not marrying you and maybe she feels you are rushing in too quick. Another thing is you shouldnt be pressured into making a go with this girl....its not down to your parents or friends in whether you stay with your girlfriend or not....its your life...your future. If i was you i would talk to her again and ask her if she wants a future with you...if she doesnt seem that worried then you have got your answer.Remember....you are probably thinking that you wont feel the same with another girl the way you do with her...but you will...i promise.
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female
reader, smeedle +, writes (27 January 2006):
Hi, It is time to get out of bed and take controle of this situation, you are grieving for something you know you have lost, what she did was wrong and you did the right thing in giving her a second chance but something preciouse has been betrayed and consequently lost, this in your case is causing too much of a rift so you really need to move on however painful this will inevitably be. You come across as a really nice and sensitive bloke, i have no doubts that the right woman is out there for you but this is not her, both of you need to face up to the fact that you need to part, your family may be cross but this is your life and happiness and not theres, there is nothing worse than papering over the cracks and pretending it will all be ok, a marriage may produce children into an already rocky relationship. my advice is only advice and ultimatly you must decide what to do and go with that, good luck luck but remember be strong!!
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