A
female
age
41-50,
*eredith
writes:I'm in love again for the second time in my life, to the same man. We were High School sweethearts, and separated during our college years. Here we are 12 years later and we've found each other again, almost as if we never skipped a beat. However, we have found each other in troubled marriages. Mine for my reasons, and His for his reasons, all of which had been going on years before we reconnected. We are both in agreement on what we want the outcome to be and we are both agree the we are willing to endure the hell that comes with divorce. The hang up is fear. Ending my marriage will be violent and nasty, as is my husband. I don't know what to do, to do this safely and effectively. Where is my first step??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010): what is your first step? STOP YOUR AFFAIR. your lover is married, don't you care about hurting another person. you may be hurt/pissed at your hb but please what did your lovers wife do to deserve this total disrespect from you and her hb. what do you expect your hb to do - play the faithful dog and roll over and just accept your affair. get real. if you think your marriage is so bad now wait until he learns that you have been doing it with someone eles hb. darling, cheating is cheating, no matter how much you want to romanticise the affair. what happens to your kids???
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 January 2010):
Your very first step is to choose a good lawyer and speak to them. They will then offer you all the advice you can. I would also suggest talking to a friend, or family member you can trust so they know what is happening. The most important thing to do is to make sure you have all the advice and everything set up before you divorce. Then go for it.
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