A
female
age
41-50,
*onely planet
writes:Right, advice again please....I have been seeing this guy for about three and a half months. At the start, we had a chat, and we both said that neither of us wanted serious relationships as we had both just come out of relationships. So we have been 'dating' for want of a better word. We speak maybe once or twice a week and have an actual date at least once a week. We are both lawyers and therefore have quite busy working weeks together with other interests so we both get quite tied up in what we are doing. Last week we were supposed to have dinner on Wednesday but he called me at 6pm that night as he had to work late and I was also going to be tied up late at work and as we don't live that close to each other we decided to cancel but we didn't actually choose another night. He called me later that night and we had a chat. I told him that it was a shame that I would get to see him and he told me not to worry and that there would be other nights. He said he would call towards the end of the week. I knew he was going away for the weekend, and I therefore didn't really expect to hear from him.Thing is, it is now six days since I last heard from him which is unusual - I have sent him a text message this morning asking how he is but no response. He has always been honest with me previously. I know it is difficult to know what he is thinking/doing, but any advice would be much appreciated. I don't 'think' I have put him under pressure (I tend to leave him to call me, but will call or text him once in a while). I just feel like he has suddenly disappeared. If he has decided that he no longer wants to be in touch with me, then that is fine, but why wouldn't he just say?Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
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female
reader, Red591  +, writes (30 November 2010):
 I would say you are not the only one he is dating. Careful with the non-serious relationships. They usually end up like this. I have a friend with benefits as we simply could not end up together for various reasons. We both know this but there is an attraction and we "help" eachother out occasionally. lol. however, it works because i don't know or care what he is doing when I'm not with him. It is new for me and it is perfect right now cause I am trying to move and very busy. when I move I wish him the best and to meet someone. Sometimes the "not-serious" relationship is viewed this way by men even though you all never said "friend with benefits". If he sees it as a FWB then you need to forget him. If he is into you, he will call and make an effort to make it a serious thing. you are way to concerned with what he is doing for the "not serious" thing to work. I hate to see poeple get hurt in this dangerous playing field. You deseve someone on the same page as you. GOOD LUCK
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): You need to know where you stand. Its horrible not to get replies to texts, what are you supposed to think? Without seeming as if you are pushy I would try and get to the bottom of this, even if things were 'casual'. He may have met someone or just really not got around to contacting you. Do you know a mutual friend who could fill you in? If not a call or text saying 'not heard from you - it would be nice to meet up - is there a problem'. If he doesn't reply to that then, sadly I would say he's met someone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): ~RELAX~
You're casually dating and he's a lawyer and he has a life outside you.
It's not a marriage or even a relationship.
Invest your time in activities, etc. that's all about meeting your needs.
Let him do him.
God Bless.
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