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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I asked this question earlier but didnt get the response I needed. I left out some information. I have been dating this guy for 4 mths. Everything was going great. About 2 weeks ago he started talking about falling in love and things were headed that way fast, about us dating in general, going to the next level. He also has mentioned he was a little scared because all his past relationship ended badly. I told him I only wanted to see him. And I thought I loved him. Then next thing I know I don't hear anything from him. I called and left him a polite message a week ago and also sent a text and still no word. I figured I would give him his space since I made the last move. What is going on with him? Do you think he's seeing someone else? Scared? I'm so lost trying to figure him out and what I should do. Thank you for the advice!
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female
reader, MuffinGirl  +, writes (5 April 2009):
 I'm not sure, but i guess that he's a bit scared. Probably he's very sensitive by the nature and his past relationship had hurted him so badly and he might think that your relationship would end anyway. So he had decided that he doesn't need any new relationship and any new girls. Maybe he just see girls as main part of his problems.
Or maybe he really meet someone new, but i doubt. You won't never know until you meet him or ask his friends about him. Do you have any friends in common? If you do, ask them about him and what's going on with him now.
Good look.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): Try to slow down, girl. And think. You sound so stressed. And when a woman is feeling the stress, she will obsess. And when you obsess about 'why' he's not calling what are you doing to yourself? You are allowing your self-esteem to take a nosedive. No man should have that kind of power over you. He's not acting like a commendable bf. So as tough as this will be....just stop calling-texting him. He knows where you are, he has your number.
Your posting makes me think of something I read once.
"Men have traits in them that women would be really, really smart to adapt to. They seem to have the courage to persist through doubts, failure and hurt and stay strong/steady. Women need to think 'like a man' to retain their sanity through these bleak periods of self-doubts."
So, to be honest, I have no idea why he isn't calling you. Some guys get scared and high tail it off to the hills, when a relationship starts to get too serious for what they can emotionally withstand. When a man does this, I usually state to females: He's far too complicated..forget about him! Go find a nice guy who loves your attentions and wants to be with you. So unless this guy has fallen off the face of the earth somewhere, I'm guessing he's baggage riddled and afraid of committment.
But you deserve an honest explanation from him and if he won't do this, then you may have to accept he's been a coward and has no intention of calling you. If he's doing this, then I want you to try an experiement...step away from the phone/computer and get out with friends and have fun. As said before, under no circumstances are you to call or text him. Resist. If this man cares for you, I guaruntee, that within one week, he will call you. And when he does call, still be you, be happy, positive, cheerful but be ...busy. Make him work hard for you. After all, you are worth the hard efforts he will have to do, to get you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): He is probably not the guy for you. A guy that really likes you or loves you will always be interested in you. I may be young but this is true. He shouldn't stop talking to you or something just because things are supposedly getting better. He should be there falling in love with you. Not trying to walk away from it. I know this may sound crazy from a 15 year old but I'm very mature and I'm very in love. You need a man that isn't scared of being in love.
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