A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This story is going to be long and kind of all over the place, but please read it all. I want to include a lot of info so I can give you guys the whole story.I've been with my boyfriend since early 2012. I really do love him dearly.I know him very well and he has not been himself lately. To put it more clearly he's been acting very distant from me and our relationship in general, it never use to be like this until the past couple of months. A good example of his behavior is that he doesn't spend much time with me anymore. He use to always want to spend almost every minute we could together. Now it's like it doesn't bother him if we don't get to do anything together. I will mention doing something with him and he will agree or just brush it off then we never end up doing it. Another major example is that he isn't intimate with me like he use to be. He's always had a high sex drive and would always be excited and ready for sex whenever we would get to see each other. Him and I are also very much into phone sex and sexting, both which we would do on a daily basis. It's been a little over a month and nothing. I brought this issue up nicely to him and finally a couple of days later he was in the mood and we were intimate that night. But it's like he's just not into it/doesn't really care anymore? It makes me feel like he's not attracted to me as much anymore.If I can be honest here without sounding crazy, I personally believe another woman has caught his attention and that he may be getting some emotional needs met that he doesn't feel like I give him anymore? If that makes any sense at all. And that really hurts me to say because I've always trusted my boyfriend so much and I try to do so much for him. I don't know why he would be wanting to look elsewhere. I've asked him if this what the case and he says no he loves me, etc.There has been 1 woman in particular who he met online on a game he plays and started talking to right around the time his behavior started changing. I think this might be why I'm suspicious, but that may just be me over thinking things.I had asked him about the online woman and he got upset and asked why I would even ask about him and another girl and that I should know by now that he would ever cheat. I honestly don't think he would be the cheating type. Him and I had a long heart to heart talk about cheating when we first met. He is not okay with cheating, and he's been hurt and cheated on in the past, so I don't think he would do that to me. The weird thing is he denies that there is a problem. He tells me he loves me and is still attracted to me, but he just hasn't been showing it lately. I've tried to talk with him about this several times, and I don't get any answers. He will make up some random excuses like he's just stressed from work or maybe he has just been busy, or maybe he was just tired that night that he didn't want to be intimate, etc. But I know that's probably not the case. These were never issues in the past. He will say sorry and say he will make it up the next time and spend the whole day with me, and he usually never does. I don't know what is going on with him lately. I don't want to keep bothering him or make him mad with questions, so I'm going to just play it cool. I know everything is good in his work and personal life. Maybe this is just a phase he's going through? Or does it sound like something is wrong?
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in the mood, met online, phone sex, ready for sex, sex drive Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2015): When a guy keeps denying a problem and you are feeling there is one its like he is discounting your feelings. In this situation the best thing to do is focus on reality. Stop questioning him and really 'see'. Stop trying so hard and put a neutral effort in. Things will become clearer. If you force a behaviour from him you will know he is being false. You need the truth and the only thing you can and quite rightly should accept is that his actions reflect how he feels about you. It's common sense. Instinct intuition etc are all valid. If you start mirroring his actions and stop bothering so much he will come clean and you can protect yourself.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2015): You can't have this relationship on your own. You need both of you to be invested in making it work.
If when you air your concerns he dismisses them, then I'd say he's not interested in making it work. In your position, I would start preparing for the end.
I'm sorry that you're in this situation.
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