A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid,I have been so confused about a guy who I have met seven years. I cannot call it a relationship but we have been together on and off for the past seven years and for short periods of time maximum a month. The reason why I keep letting him in because I am very attracted to him and we have great chemistry. He is separated from his wife and is extremely wealthy and stingy, and I feel has many girls and he will never admit.whenever we have been in the fling it only lasts for a maximum of one month before he does something that annoys me and makes me feel he is cheating, and then I disappear without a word for months, even if he tries to contact me i ignore... but our last encounter was different...he lied just so he would get in my pants again, he said he wants to marry me secretly since his family wont allow.... and that we should do it....but it was just to get in my pants again!!! caniving jerk..so after that which was ten days of dating and we had great sex, I went for a summer vacation for two weeks and ignored his last message coz I felt something was not sincere, and for the first time, he didnt persist in calling or messaging me...he gave me my space since I was out of town, and there would be no use of me sexually i guess..,,,,, and then he called me a month later and messaged me...he contacted me on september 1 and until today he calls me once a week.... i never answer...everyone around me tells me that I should act friendly and happy like nothing happened... and when he asks to see me, I should say ok, and then stand him up last minute....they said this would kill him....as for me, I feel it is childish, and that either I should answer his message next time indifferently and if he asks to see me, I should say that Im not into the idea since it didnt work out before.. offcourse my other scenario was to tell him that "game over" not interested n playing games, and that I am mature, and dont wanna waste my time.......I really don't know what to do, the sex is unbelievably great because i really like him but i never admit anything to him, i have too much pride..and suddenly shut out...for months and then he finds his way back..and the game starts again,,He is a very charming and attractive and knows exactly how to allure a woman, extremely experienced..he can have any girl he wants..so im wondering why does he keep contact with me, and cant just move on with other woman..why does he have to have me in his list..although i have made it clear that Im a naive innocent girl who is looking for a commitment,, and not into flings..why he keeps coming back,,, i have known other men but if they sense that I dont want anything they move on..he has such a high ego, that i feel he might be a narcissist....but i have a weak spot for him.. . everytime I ignore him, i feel good about it and I move on until his next lie kicks in a year later...but this time ignoring him is not satisfying, i ignored his one call and message yet still i feel a fire inside that is realllllly mad at him and i feel he deserved to feel like shit!!!!I feel like I wanna win..but dont know how..he calls once a week as if he is checking in and saying , I know you wont answer but I am still here...he s definitely not inlove or else he ll call me and message me a hundred times a day..I dont know what to do and how to get over this..im obsessed about thinking about him.. but offcourse he has no clue about it..he sees a strong girl wh refuses to answer his calls..and is stubborn and will take months for her to give in, and for him it is worth the effort so we can have great sex..i wish he would change and fall inlove with me:(please advise ..
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your great advice! I will definitely do that next time he calls or messages me! hope I forget him for good! thanks!!
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 Your answer is in the last part of your second paragraph..."tell him that "game over" not interested n playing games, and that I am mature, and dont wanna waste my time......." Then stop taking his calls, block his number, and get busy with your life. You will be fine and one day you'll look back and be glad you didn't waste any more time on the loser.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you eyeswideopen for your thoughts. You are so right and right on the dot! its a total waste of time, and for a woman sex without being loved would be calling for a major broken heart.
so what do you think is the best way to react to his weekly phone calls, Should I just keep ignoring as if he doesnt exist or answer and say what? thanks!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 October 2011):
Well he's not going to change and fall in love with you, it hasn't happened in 7 years and it's not going to happen in the next 7. Unless you are immortal, you are wasting precious time on the guy.
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