A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi! oaky there is this man that has been in my life for 13 years, about 6 years ago he tells me that he wants to settle down with me and I run. Well we got in touch with each in the last year and there were some changes in his life (he was engaged, but found that she wasn't the one however they had a baby together) About a month and a half ago he tells me he wants a wife I reply you know what it takes to get a wife. So he comes to visit me and we have a good time! He also lets me know that he will try to come down every month. So all is good at this point he was doing things that he didn't do before, and then he does a 360 on me. When I call he keeps it short and simple. What's going on I didn't do anything wrong?
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female
reader, chloe71z +, writes (18 August 2008):
well it sounds e that the other woman might be back in his life. I deffinetly would not rule that out. Also he might still be enganged to her and just wanted one last fling before they get married. you deffinetly need to get to the bottom of his problem. next time you get him on the phone ask him.
hope this helps
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (18 August 2008):
From the brief note you wrote here, I will venture to guess that what is going on is one of two things.
1) He has a fear of commitment. He finds reasons to leave his fiance, you and everyone who gets "too close".
2) He has a fear that you will bolt again and he doesn't want to get hurt.
This relationship hasn't been too stable and if you want it to work, both of you need to make a commitment and work on this relationship...at the same time, together. Sometimes with this type of relationship it's all about the timing and sometimes it's about the wrong person.
The two of you should sit down and discuss whether or not to make one last go of it and if it doesn't work out then both of you should stop being each other's fall back option and find new relationships that aren't so hard to get right.
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