A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been trying hard to be better at conflict resolution and need some advice on how to approach this situation...I've been dating this guy for two months now and I essentially don't want to be dating him b/c I dont FEEL like he cares that much about me. For example, he will come and spend time with me when I schedule it ahead of time, but if I spontaneously invite him to do something with me, he'll say something like I'm tired and would rather not. I realize that everyone is busy, but I really feel like he'll only give me his attention with its convenient for him. And I'm afraid to trust someone who I know will always choose himself over me, and whether casual or not, no relationship will work when there is no trust. So I want to talk about this with him, but I dont know how to bring it up. Esp since I've wanted him to change some behaviors in the past, which he's been trying, but I dont want to nag all the time. Any ideas on good, non-critical, non-judgmental, soft opening lines of conversation to bring up the topic that will make him non-defense and will allow us to discuss his feeling and my feelings in a calm and non-defensive manner? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dayle  +, writes (18 August 2008):
Hi, hop this helps.
Tell ur partner wat u want from him, you hav needs and feelngs, an they need 2 be nurtured.
I'm sure he'll understand
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