A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have little experience in relationships and do not know what the most effective way to getting a girl:On the one hand I've had advice that said I should be direct. On the other I've had advice that says I shouldn't look for it and be girl's friends and hope that leads to more.Is it better to be known as a guy who has tried to get a girlfriend or not? Does a guy asking who asks lots of girls out and fails get a reputation as a loser?
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female
reader, akanet  +, writes (4 June 2012):
In my case, I'd rather men ask me directly. That maybe also because I tend to be blind of romantic advances.
Becoming a girl's friend also works but it sometimes gets you nowhere because as soon as she trusts you to telling you about her romantic interests of other men she usually doesn't see you as one to date.
In the end, So Very Confused pretty much stated the essentials that some people ignore.
A
female
reader, Rainbow111 +, writes (4 June 2012):
I think it depends on the level you are at with this girl. I'd like to personally be told directly, rather than longing things out but that's just me. Obviously, the girl has to have shown atleast a little interest in you before hand and then take it from there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2012): Just be yourself... Basically.
Yes you should be relaxed, start off as friends, get to know each other first and then let develop what may naturally. Don't pretend to be someone you're not to impress her, because that will never work once she gets to know the real you, and don't put pressure on a girl either, they like to take things at their own pace. There's no harm in NOT rushing anything.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 June 2012):
 The best way to get the RIGHT girlfriend is to BE YOURSELF.
if you are direct, then be direct... a girl that likes direct will respond. A girl that prefers a less direct man will not respond.
IF you are direct with a girl to get her attention but not that way normally, it will not be a true representation of yourself and in the long run the relationship might suffer from that.
Would you ask girls out that you were not truly interested in just to ask them? That's not good... but asking a girl you are interested in to go out is a good thing...
I mean you can't be interested in EVERY girl, so be selective and ask out only the ones you are truly interested in.
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