A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We've known each other for over a month. Been together for 4 weeks. He went home 6 days ago. Since this is a honeymoon phase, I am a bit worried because I am the only one starting conversations/texting. If I ask him something he'll answer. If I send him a photo or tell him what I am doing he'll comment on it, but he tells me nothing about what he's been doing, how he's been feeling... I was just wandering if this is normal. He's been practically silent for over 2 days.We live on different continents. He's twelve years older. No kids from two marriages. His last one fell a part because they were separated all the time - his words - since he travels for work. When we were actually together everything was great. We not only had sex all the time, we really bonded. He even wanted me to come with him, but I couldn't since I had a project to finish.He didn't seem like a silent type. And now all of a sudden he's not acting, just reacting.My sister tells me to be who I am, not to play any games, and stop worrying, what will be will be. But what if who I am is pushing him away? I've been unlucky in love. I'm almost 40 and had only one serious relationship which lasted a little over a year. The guy dumped me for a friend of mine (yes I'm that lucky). All the other guys I was interested in never acted on their interest. They would do all sorts of wonderful romantic things but never actually wanted to be with me.I sometimes think I am cursed... The only other guy who actually wante dto be with me was married and lied about it!Anu advice?Thanx! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 August 2016):
 Some people are terrible at keeping in contact over the phone and sending text messages, so maybe this is why you feel he is being distant. Don't contact him and allow him to make the first move.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2016): Thank you both!
I just don't know what to think.
I'll let him take the initiative. Hopefully, he's just too stressed.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 August 2016):
 While he was with you he was out of his regular life. He had time. He did things differently. Now that he is home and getting settled back into his regular life he finds that life getting back to normal means he does not have time or energy to contact you.
OR like my husband when we were LDR at first he does not need daily contact. He does not think about it.
In the beginning my now husband could go nearly 2 weeks without contact...it drove me crazy and I assumed he did not care as much as I did. Once we were getting serious, (after 3 months of regular visits) I told him I needed more contact than he did and we came up with a compromise that worked well for both of us.
My advice, is to let him get back to his regular routine and wait for him to contact you. At that time you can express your need to have more contact with him than he is currently comfortable with or needs and see how he responds.
Sadly it may be that he was out of his regular routine and you were a lovely distraction for that time but he has no intention of integrating you into his regular life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2016): Your not unlucky believe me . Personally id stop doing all the hard work , let him chase you and make the effort . Fair enough he could be really busy with work so just get on with life if you dont hear from him after a week send him a message to ask how he is . If he doesnt reply for a while id move on to the next guy . Dont waste time get back out there join online dating . If you dont have much confidence men can tell and vise versa . If he does reply take it from there . Do not change who you are to fit in with him , the right person is out there for you wether its him or not we dont know yet .
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