A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm just trying to prepare for my future and I really want a baby in the next 5 years maximum no later than that. Having not met my soulmate yet im thinking is there any point to freeze my eggs now? Or i heard that ivf works great a few of my friends had babies up to 43 doing ivf but thats assuming i meet the right guy before then. I'm concerned if i freeze my eggs now that it could send me into early menapause or speed up my age-ing process and this terrifies me.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 June 2015):
 I agree with Abella. TALK to your doctor/gyno
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2015): Yes, freeze embryos,not eggs.You could get embryos with donor sperm (I think) and then you should have no future custody issues.Also, if you REALLY want to have children:I'd listen to Abella.If you REALLY want it what is stopping you from getting donor sperm now and NOT going through the whole IVF/freezing eggs route? (I've heard is very expensive+emotionally draining)Then you have your baby and any guy that comes in the picture has to simply have more love to give: to both you and baby, rather than just you.But IF you really want the RIGHT guy-then wait. There is no guarantee he will show up but every decision is associated with risks and consequences. As Abella said I'd first choose between BABY vs GUY and then make my decision based on this choice. IF baby=better to look for options now rather than later (if you're prepared+ want a child). Better to invest your finances in your child THAN the POTENTIAL possibility of a child (which even with advanced technology might never be realised. IVF still only has 30-40% success rate I think? Think about this carefully: you could be in the 60%-70%.Nothing wrong with that if you prefer Mr. Right to baby,of course, but that's why we are saying it's all about YOUR priorities, not what we think is right for you.)
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (17 June 2015):
 Do discuss all this with your Gynaecologist /Obstetrician as there are some medical issues that need discussion with a specialist.
IVF is expensive exhausting and often takes multiple tries. It can be so heart breaking t find out that again it has not worked. I thank God that never had to use IVF.
From my non-medical perspective I would suggest that you do freeze your eggs as time is running out
I can understand why celebrities with Nannies and personal assistants have no problems having children in their 40s and beyond. But Real people have to get u in the night and attend to all manner of things associated with babies and children and it is tiring.
Would you consider having a child alone? That is one option
Would you consider adoption of a child in need?
If you are definitely focused on a permanent relationship with a guy and you meet him then how would you feel f he said "no children please"?
What I am trying to say is: which is more important :
1. A permanent exclusive relationship with guy
2. A baby or babies in your life?
3. Or A permanent exclusive relationship with guy and with babies with that guy?
4. What if the need for babies is still as strong as ever when you turn 43?And Mr Right has still not appeared?
5. If Mr Right left after the baby was born do you have the resources to bring the baby up for the next 18 years on your own?
You've compromised in the past, I'm sure. Now you are at the cross roads.
What are the most important goal or goals to you, in priority order?
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