A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I ain't proud of what I'm about to divulge but it was great, now I seem to be tormenting myself. A couple of years ago, I was dating a girl after a year or so, we were going thru a break up. During the break-up time, I met another girl and we became 'fuck buddies'This admittedly was gr8 and whenever we needed to fill the void,horny or felt lonely we resolved this thru our wild, hot and experimental sex escapades. There was never pressure and performance on both sides were exceptionally well. We dated other people whilst we were still maintaining our relationships. There were times when she'd meet a guy to begin a steady relationship and sometimes when he called we were busy...she'd still take the call and have a brief conversation whilst we were heatedly busy(know it sounds sick), but at those times it seemed adventurous and fun. When we were together, I used to be amazed at how she'd lie to her bf, she just knew how to handle each situation and spoke lies like it was the total truth without a shred of doubt. It was scary, but didn't let it bother me as I was 'selfishly' enjoying myself. We continued with 'no-strings' attached but about two years ago we wanted more and we started an exclusive relationship. We made a pact never to lie to one another and if we fell in love with some else, we'd admit it to one another no matter how painful. Recently my she admitted she called her ex-bf just to say hi and called another of her ex's about 10 times but dropped the phone. From there onwards, I started thinking what if she's playing me the same way she did her bf. Like I said she can be so believable and convincing - but thru that I am begining to doubt her. We recently went to her work function and I observed her and her body language with one of her co-workers and saw the gleam in her eyes when they spoke. She does the hair and finger twirl when they speak, she does call me to tell me that she'll be working late, me knowing that he is there too. In the next two months they are going to the UK for a week on a business trip. I keep getting that sick feeling in my tummy when I think about it. Anyways she did say that I should go with to the UK too and do sightseeing whilst they attend to business. She knows that I wouldn't go as I have my business committments and I feel if I go I would just do it to keep her in my clutches. Did I mention that when she has two glasses of wine, that she can be flirtatous and easily swayed. She and I still both have a very healthy sexual appetite. What do I do I cannot think rationally at all? Please help.
View related questions:
a break, co-worker, fell in love, flirt, her ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, daglish  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Sounds strangest when you believe this lady cant play u when she could play somebody else during a steamy sex session in which you are taking part. Players are half born and half made. In most cases such very good ones are born coz they might never be caught. That chic is playing you since u made it clear that its the exhilarating sexual perfomances that brought the two of you 2geter and nothing else.
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (29 August 2007):
 Reschedule your business committments and go to the UK with her. You will not be keeping her in your clutches the whole time. She will still be attending the business meetings, you can go sight-seeing, sleep late and work out at the hotel gym. It'll be like mini-vacation for both of you, and the two of you will have the chance to be together away from home and the normal stress of your everyday life, and you won't drive yourself crazy for a week wondering what she's doing without you. Since the beginning of your relationship was steeped in lies and deception, it's only natural you're going to have worries from time to time. Trust your gut. If you feel sick, take action. Eventually if the two of you really love each other, you will become less fearful but in the meantime, take advantage of her invitation. Don't be foolish. Go have fun. It'll be alot less stressful than staying at home worrying yourself sick.
...............................
A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (29 August 2007):
 Time to level with her. Tell her you really love her, and since you two agreed never to lie to each other, you're going to let her know exactly how you're feeling. Remain calm, and don't blame or you'll make her defensive, which you don't want. You just want her to level with you, too. Remind her of your no-lie pact, and say you'll believe whatever she says next and you won't yell. Then listen.
You either trust her or you don't, and is sounds like you don't anymore. You need to do whatever it takes to bring back the trust, or you need to let her go. Living wondering whether she's lying to you is not worth it.
Good luck.
...............................
|
