What if everything he said was a lie?

A female age 30-35, *urious89 writes:

Hello, I'm 20 years old and i know that I am young and I know that there is lots of fish in the sea. Someone great told me that you'll know when you first meet someone that they are the right one for you, that you just know. I have talked and dated lots of guys before and I thought twice that I was in love but in reality one was just puppy love meaning my first boyfriend. I always knew he was not the right one for me because I could never see our future together, actually the thought of our future together was a mess. Then years later I went out with a guy that was 5 years older than me and he did everything for me, I mean he took and picked me up everywhere, he seen me everyday, he bought me everything that I needed and wanted, he would send me flowers, and he would take me around his family and I would bring him around mine. I mean talk about the perfect guy right? I was so so in love with him and I could imagine us in the future living ok but one thing he would always do to me, was make me jealous by telling me my friend was fine and to tell them he said hey. At first I thought ok I know he loves me but then he would said it again and it would get me mad. One day I found out that he had been cheating on me for months and my heart was broken. I felt like someone pulled my heart out of my body and smashed it into a ball and threw it in the shredder and then picked it up and stomped on it.I was really hurt, at a point I wanted to kill myself but I couldn't. I was so hurt because he was someone I trusted and love as much as I could and the whole time he was just taking advantage of me. From that day I told myself I would never let a man have my trust or love. I was in the mode to just play with guys heads as my ex had done to me. I promised myself that I would never take a guy serious. Two years had gone by and I had been single ever since but as I said I had friends. One day there was a festival and all my girlfriends were going and I had told my sister sarcasticly that is married, to help me find a man and of course I didn't find one. Right after the festival all my girlfriends and I went to my older sisters house because she was having a BBQ and we all knew that we were all going to have fun and get drunk. My brother in law had invited all his guy friends and I did not think anything of them, my only concern was to just have fun. As I see my older sister sitting on the couch talking to her husbands guy friend and she says my name and asks me If I go to school and I told her yes and the whole time the guy was looking at me smiling and I just felt like it was a set up to hook me up with him. As my other sister found out that he was interested in me, she right away told me and had us exchange numbers. We did. Next thing I know, we are talking all day and night for a week straight. He was such a cool person that I would have never expected. He finally asks me on a date and I go. I was nervous but right when he opened the car door for me, I knew I could be comfortable with him. We went to dinner and talked more. Then we went to the movies and right when we both sat down to watch the movie, it was halfway thru when he kisses me on my cheek and whispers that he was glad I came on this date. From that moment on I knew he was the one for me. It was as if we were always meant to be like I new instantly that I loved him. All these years I always told myself to never let a man have my love, trust, loyality, or close to me that he had it all. I was so in love him he made my life great and I wanted to always be with him forever. He had a son and I had fallen in love with him also. It was like not only do I have one love of my life but I had 2. They were my favorite boys. I always wanted to be around them and so did they. I told my bf all my dreams and hopes and he told me his. He became my bestfriend and there was nothing that could tear us apart and we were only together for six months. Now before he and I got together, I had always had a guy bestfriend and I told he everything but my bf always knew and never got jealous of him until I wanted to be so honest that I told him that at one point my bestfriend and I did talk to each other but while my bf and I were together, my friend was in the marines and he only came down to visit once a year and that would be around winter time. When I had told my bf that I would like to see my friend and hangout with him, he got really upset and told me to do whatever I want which in guy words it meant yea you can go but I'm going to be really upset. I went and seen my friend and told my bf and next thing I know he breaks up with me and doesn't want nothing to do with me. I was hurt because he kept saying that I had cheated on him and I didn't. It hurted so much because he didn't believe me for nothing. I thought to myself as wow this is suppose to be that man I want for the rest of my life and cannot even believe me. I cried everyday for 3 weeks straight and had not heard a word from him. I felt empty like I was lost. And when I finally got to talk to him, he was mad and wanted me to leave him a lone but something always told me to fight for the man I loved and I did. 2 months had passed by and he was finally talking to me a little here and there but I had not seen him still. A month had pasted by and he finally wants to hangout with me. We hangout and we talk about what has gone on in our life and he tells me that he loves me but that I still cheated on him. He also asks me have I talked to anyone since we been broken up and I told him no and he told me that he talked to a girl and they dated until he found out that she was still messing with her baby daddy because this girl was pregnant while my ex was dating her. But he acts all cool with me and he tells me that he's going to call me and he never does. So I get hurt again because I felt like we were going to try things over again. A week passes by and he never calls me and I'm sad and depressed because I felt used and abused. I finally hear from him again and I give in and see him and we talk and I told him that he broke my heart and that I hella love him and that I missed him and he tells me that he loves me too that his son and I are the only two ppl that are the love of his life.now why would anyone say that for nothing? I believe him because I still do trust him. This happens again 2 weeks later and then he starts calling me babe and tells me he loves me and I finally think were together because of the way he acts but I wasn't sure if we were official but I thought we were. Next thing I know I'm on the phone with him yelling at me telling me that were not together and that his baby momma and that pregnant girl are crying and yelling at him because they found out together and he tells me that we aren't together because I cheated on him which I didn't. At that moment I felt so betrayed, how could I ever love this person that would pick some pregnant girl and his baby momma. I told him that I hated him and how I never wanted to see him and for him to stay out my life. All he could say was that he was sorry and that he hoped I could forgive him one day. From that day I told myself I would never go back to him again. I would always not talk to him for 2 weeks and the longest that I ever went without talking to him was 3 weeks. But this time I was serious in not talking to him again. Five weeks have gone by and I didn't think or miss him at all and I felt like I was finally over and happy without him until one day I thought about him but I didn't miss him. And he had got with that pregnant girl and they were boyfriend girlfriend but I didn't care and didn't bother them. But then I started thinking of him continuously and I told my sister about it and she said it was normal to think about him or any guy. One day I finally wake up missing him really bad and I could not control it and I did not want to bother him knowing he had a gf but I told him that I missed him and his son. I didn't expect him to text me back, I just wanted him to know how I feel. He texts me back and tells me that him and his son misses me also. All my feelings come back instantly. I'm back in love or always have. A few weeks later he tells me that him and that girl breakup. We hangout and we start to be cool with eachother again and we start to hangout but he still doesn't want to be with me and I'm like if you love me as you say then you would want to be with me.for some reason we stop talking once again and I don't gear from him again I don't want to but he calls me thinking he can come back in my life but because I do love him and we were suppose to go on a date, I go and see him. But this time I act like I don't care about him too much and he gets all lovely dovey with me and tells me he loves me and is calling me babe and wants me to stay over but I learned that if I do stay the night then I will be in the say situation as I always ended up. Now throughout our whole broken up time, I had talked to guys here and there but it never felt right, I tried to give these guys a chance and they would be super cool but they would just make me want my ex more than ever. He had my heart. So I didn't stay over at his house and things were being different with us but he still wanted to play games and when I would call him and he wouldn't answer. Our would of 1 year anniversity was coming up and we both knew it and we had planned to do something but ad the weekend came, I did not call him and he called me but I wouldn't answer his calls because he would answer mine. He called me the whole weekend and I wouldn't answer. We were both playing the game where we would do things to each other to get each other mad or attention to act right. Finally we stopped and we were being cool once again and then we hungout but were being really cool with each other until So A couple of days pass and he wants to hangout but it was mothers day and he was out with his mother having dinner and I felt like he was taking forever to get me so I told him to stay with his mom. I had felt stood up and I called him a jerk and I told him why. All he could say was sorry but that I told him to just stay with his mom. I had finally had enough with him that I told him I couldn't do anymore that I was tired of it. He was crying and telling me sorry and he loved me a lot but I just couldn't take it but I finally gave in. A day or two passes by and I had seen a picture of that pregnant girl at his house with her baby and I knew it

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A female reader, LottieCole  +, writes (10 June 2010):

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