| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have a close male friend who I've known for a few years who has always told me that he views me as a friend/doesn't think a relationship between us would work/wouldn't do anything sexual with someone who a close friend as opposed to girlfriend or "one-night stand" etc. However we are VERY close on an emotional/intellectual level, regularly speak on the phone at crazy hours of the night and/or morning and have had a fair bit of flirtatious banter in the past (with him also saying every now and then that he doesn't think anything between us relationship-wise would work, but that he considers me a “friend for life.”) He also had a girlfriend for several months last year who was permanently convinced he was secretly in love with me and banned him from seeing me for that reason.Anyway I was staying over his house the other day (yes this is fairly normal) and he started hinting heavily that we should sleep together (in the sense of sharing a bed, not having sex.) I agreed because I do like him, if not really in a sexual way and I was curious to see where it would lead. After not very long he started putting his arm around me, groping me in a not-overly-lewd way and resting his head on my shoulder so I just stroked his hand awkwardly because I wasn't sure how to react. This pretty much continued on and off for several hours. I then got bored and got up to go on the computer to which he followed me and started hugging me again in a slightly clingy way and laying his head on me. We didn't actually anything that went down at all though; we were just talking about other stuff and stalking random people on Facebook.I am kind of confused, I mean, asking whether he likes me might sound stupid but I'm not sure, given he has been completely averse to having any sort of sexual or romantic relationship with me for the last 2 or 3 years.He also hasn't contacted me since I went back to my house (which was only yesterday admittedly and we don't always talk every day) I'm more just wondering whether he's actually going offer some clarity.I mean I'm not even sure I want him to like me. We probably have a better dynamic as friends.Please don't say he's trying to use me for sex because a) he's been "desperate" before now and not tried anything with me b) he knows I don't do that sort of thing lightly c) we are really close and very similar people (he acknowledged this the other day) so I don't think he'd want to risk tarnishing our friendship so the sake of momentary sexual pleasure... I mean, I seriously hope not.Anyway, I'm just confused as to what has caused this sudden feeling of non-platonic love/sexual attraction towards me and why he has not actually said anything about it. Does he think, we're like, fuck buddies now? A couple (Not. Gonna. Happen!)? Or what?
View related questions:
facebook, flirt, stalking Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (2 July 2011):
 Yeah, he likes you. A lot. The thing that's interesting is that you say you let him do things because you were "curious to see where it would lead"... Be careful with that kind of thing. It's kind of fun and flattering for you, but you could end up really leading him on. Or else maybe you're curious because you like him too. Anyway, if you're absolutely sure that you want to just be friends, the best thing for everyone would be for one or the other of you to get interested in someone else. This could get messy fast.
|
