A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:What happens to your sex life when you get married (or are in a long term living arrangement)? Why does the sex always wane, and the relationship become almost platonic? Is it because you're together every day? I've seen in time and again and even in my own relationships. But I thought this one would be different. He is so sexy to me; but apparently I am not as sexy to him. We had a glorious sex life until about 2 months ago. He just never seems to want it anymore. I dont think there's someone else because we still spend all our free time together but I'm too young to just be roommates! What gives here?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): I am going through the exact same thing actually...it has been going on for four months now! at a certain point i could not take it anymore, especially that i am a very attractive 23 year old woman, so i get attention from a lot of men.I was planning not to mention the fact we have sex like 3 times a month in best cases!but at a certain point i exploded and the other day i told him that it makes me feel bad!His answer was that i do not give him the chance to want it too much as i respond positively when he initiates sex!well, my bad!i am passionate!so when he starts kissing and stuff, i cooperate...so obviously, being passionate is not a good thing after all!i wish i never asked actually, i should have figured it out myself...but the good thing is, now i cannot stand him after what he told me!!i already see his eyes full of desire again!!what is that??strange guy...too bad i am in love with him!but ok, he wants rejection then..that i can do willingly now!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): You need to be mysterious and not tell him everything so as to keep him guessing about some aspects of your personality.
Don't be too predictable. Emulate some of the exotic film stars and how the men find them alluring in the movies. Eg., Greta Garbo. Say a lot less than you think about. Think independently and act independently. Have your own job to go to every day.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (28 March 2010):
 All these people here advising you to suck his thingy,and do other sexual things/flirting...uhhhh. its not YOU,its him.Why should YOU try to bring your sex life back?
If anything,he should be feeling GUILTY about not giving you the good good!
I suggest you sit down and talk to him like a grown woman.
At first,look skeptical to him.He will ask u whats going on.Say something is going on,but u cant tell him right now.
With that being said,change the subject or go do something else.Act normal.
This will increase his curiosity.
Wait for him to bring it up,or if he doesnt...sit down and tell him its time you discussed it now.
let him how u love being with him and hes an amazing man bla bla bla BUT let him know straight up that ur not satisfied with how ur sex life is.Try not to blame him for everything though. State u dont want a dull sex life and uve enjoyed sex with him so far and u wanna keep enjoying it.Hehe.
After the convo is over,he'll probably realize his mistake.....give him a sexy look and GET IT ON girl!
:-)
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (28 March 2010):
Spend time apart, go out separately, go on dates, where you dress up and meet him there so he doesn't see you wandering round with wet hair in your tights, but just the finished product.
Men do get very lazy about this over time. It's like once they can have sex when ever they want, they no longer want it.
So you have to tease him and then turn him down. Make sure he knows that it's not just a foregone conclusion.
Walk up to him and kiss his face off then giggle and go off doing something else. Flirt with him just before you go out. Go to his parents house in a long skirt and then whisper in his ear or text him from next to him on the sofa that you are wearing stockings and no knickers underneath it. Continue chatting politely to his mother while he has to sit there thinking about it.
It's sad, and I really wish it didn't have to be this way, but you have to train him to want you but know he has to make effort to have you.
Sitting and talking may help but saying anything, no matter how carefully you tip toe around his ego, will come over as "you aren't satisfying me" and he may get all arsey about it.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (28 March 2010):
 Its just because ur around eachother all the time and u both know u can do it whenever which takes the excitement out of it. Next time ur watching a movie or something go down on him and that will start up the foreplay and lead to sex...it gets him aroused and makes things exciting. And dont worry hes most likely not sleeping with anyone else. And he probably thinks ur sexy as ever even though hes not showing it. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010): Well you should double check there's someone else, but, try wearing something sexy around the house.
I think people get bored because they always do the same few things in bed, or the same positions or locations or acts. I think sex equals lust and excitement for a lot of people in their relatqionships, so I guess that's what you have to keep going. Wear luring clothing and keep figuring out new hings to try. Give him a spur-of-the-moment blow job and don't ask for anything in return, etc. It's hard, I'm having trouble with it myself, but keep trying.
And if you haven't yet, sit down and talk to him about it.
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