A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Can someone explain what is so amazing about my friend that everyone likes her and all the guys i meet first meet first, set her and then want her!!On nights out she gets so much male attention you would think she was megan fox. She's mixed race and yes she is very beautiful even naturally, so course with makeup she's more so and yes she has a great figure, but she wears a lot of makeup!! Not in a drag queen way, but she does smokey eye make up, wears false lashes, foundation, blusher and tinted lip stuff. But yet all the guys look at her and tell her 'you're so hot' 'i wish i knew her' 'you are incredibly beautiful' 'you have gorgeous eyes' 'your smile is so beautiful'. Just her ego gets boosted SO much!! Guys compliment her on everything and even girls complain she's too beautiful. The good thing is she isn't big headed at all and said she isn't interested in the guys who always tell her how good looking she is, because she prefers the subtle type who make her work for their attention. But she has had some of the most beautiful men approach her and ask her out and still isn't interested. My problem is I know she can't help it, but it's getting annoying that every guy I meet on a night out and it's going well they then see her and gives her attention and then try it on with her!! She said she's sorry and doesn't do it intentionally, so she tries to avoid the guys I like which is nice of her. But what i'm saying is what happened to the 'guys like a natural looking girl' I wear natural makeup on a night out, simple really and instead it seems they would rather her! So do guys really not appeal to the natural look then? Or is that just in the daytime they mean? Or could it be that she is just so beautiful that they don't notice so much how much eye makeup she has on. The guys in my flat said they don't pay attention to a girls make up, especially when they girl is so beautiful they don't care if it's the makeup.... i'm confused? The guys all liking her. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, PerhapsNot  +, writes (28 October 2012):
 Men don't care about "natural" looks. Most men don't even know that women who they think is "natural" is in fact wearing foundation, contour/blush, natural eyeshadow and eyeliner with mascara. In other word: she has her full face on. But just because it's not a strong color, or a dark liner, she is "natural". Basically when it comes to makeup and mens comments on it, please ignore it. They have no idea what they're looking at. In short, a 10 is a 10. If a woman is hot, she will be noticed. If your friend is significantly better looking than you, she will always draw more attention. You can wear more makeup, you can dress more provocative, but it won't matter. Why? Because if she does those things and you two stand next to each other, she will still look better. That's life. Accept the fact that there will be women that are far more beautiful than you no matter what you do. It's not something to be jealous of, or something to compete with. If that were the case, you'd have millions of enemies. Always remember: there will ALWAYS be more beautiful people. There will always be people that will be funnier, smarter, more interesting, more successful, ect. It is not life's goal to beat them or try to beat them because you will lose.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (27 October 2012):
Girls like your friend will always get loads of attention in bars and establishments like that, because the guys there are looking for a piece of ass, not a nice person to get together with. Why do you think she only gets complimented on her looks? Because they don't know anything else about her. They just think her bum looks hot in that tight dress and that they'd like to take her home to try her out. Basically she's presenting herself like a piece of meat on a slab and at the nightlife those boys are hungry. Everything, the makeup, the lashes, etc. shows them that she puts effort in getting noticed, so they notice her.
You on the other hand have a much more subtle, less in your face beauty and at the night life this is a disadvantage if you want to hook up with someone.
During the day at sports or a hobby your natural look will help you because excessive makeup and such is frowned upon then and the girl is easily stamped as being 'fake.' One of the girls at my Uni always looked like she was on a night out: figure hugging clothes, high heels, concealer, mascara, fake eyelashes, hair extensions, etc. In bars she got loads of attention from guys. At school they scoffed at her for looking like a mask.
So in short: if you want to get more male attention at the nightlife, dress more skimpily and use more makeup. But honestly: I wouldn't treat bars and such as a good place to meet a potential boyfriend. I'd just go there to dance, have fun and listen to some good music.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (27 October 2012):
 Hi
Your friend sounds like a very grounded girl and a great friend, she can't help the attention she gets.
If it were me before you go out next time I would ask her to do your make-up, hair and pick your clothes, tell her you want to try a new look for one night.You dont have to copy her exactly that would be sad, but theres no harm in making an effort, glamming up for just a night.It pays her a compliment and you may like it.
I agree that natural look is good but Bars and Clubs give you a chance to be special.Daytime you can be as natural as you like can't you?
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (27 October 2012):
 Guys say they don't like women who cake on the make-up yet clearly this is not always the case. You really have two options here: 1) If you are looking to hook up with a guy on one of these girl night-out, try picking a different friend to go bar hopping with. Think about pairing yourself up with a friend who looks a little more down-to-earth, so you've at least leveled the playing field of competitoin. 2) OR you could ramp up your game. So you like to look natural, that's nice for a Sunday afternoon shopping at Walmart, but if you're going to go out to a club with a hot girlfriend, you need to learn how to take your appearance up a notch or you will continue to be pale in comparison. Why not have your friend do a make over on you some Saturday afternoon and see what she would do with your looks, given some of her make up tricks. If you feel embarrassed then book yourself an appointment at one of those fancy make up counters at the mall and have one of those girls make you over. It might not be something you want to wear every day, but if you want your face to have more of a power punch, you're gonna have to do more than splash water on your face and pull your hair back in a ponytail.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2012): the guys at your age are not mature enough. their brain responds well to the first impressions. and yes, a girl wearing sexy makeup and clothes gives the most effective first impression.
but as a guy gets mature, he realizes that a nice ordinary girl is much better than a slutty bitch.
don't think about what guys prefer. some of them prefer girls with natural looks, while some others prefer cosmopolitan girls. just be yourself. if you feel like wearing makeup, wear it. and if you prefer to look natural, that's cute as well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2012): That's something most girls wouldn't admit, but when this situation arrises either you are 100% comfortable with it or walk away.
I m pretty, but not striking like that girl that I new. I have red hair, curly, long, that become puffy easy, I m not thin, thin, like it's very fashionable now, but curvy size 6, at 5.4". I dress sexy sometimes but not like her, eye catching. It's just me. And that was just her: tall, thin, long legs, long straight blond hair, blue eyes. She turned heads all the time, I turn heads sometimes. But when we went out together, it was a disaster for me.
ALL guys that came up to us wanted to talk just to her, even if it was 2 friends. I felt miserable every time it happened. I tried to reason with myself, saying to myself that it's jealousy talking, and she is a good friend, and there is no reason for me to feel this way.
But this is how I felt, and 2 years went by, and I kept on feeling like that.
When I went out with my other friends I felt happy and talked to guys all the time, with her I felt always miserable the next day.
And then I decided to do what was right for me: I stoped going out with her. She moved away pretty soon after that, and w kind of lost touch, but still years later I remember how lonely I felt on those nights out. Now I laugh about it, being older and more secure about many things, but at that point of my life I had to stop those outing with my beatifull girlfriend.
Nothing will change, whether you put too much makeup or little makeup.
Some women are just so striking not like the rest of us. Do what's right for you in this situation and what makes you feel good.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2012): this is a little different from what everyone else is saying but if you're going out at night (parties, clubs, etc.) most girls wear a lot of makeup, dresses, false lashes, hair extensions, heels and what not). Guys who go to these kind of outings usually look for girls like that. If you want to find a guy who'll like you for you, your simple, natural, beauty then maybe guys at these kind of events or places aren't the kind for you. If you want to meet someone who'll take you seriously don't just look for one on a night out.
You might bump into him in class for example and the boys who actually show up to class in university are more likely to like a girl not too dolled up to party versus guys at a club or a bar etc. I hope that makes sense. Most of the guys whom I've dated or have shown a liking to me are usually from lectures, lab, sports, someone I met at the library, or the coffee shop. I don't wear a ton of make up and I don't usually party so these are the kind of guys I like to be around ^^' good luck.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 October 2012):
 Okay first off she should not be apologising to you here, she is doing nothing wrong, and it does not sound like she is flirting with these men or leading them on, it sounds like they are just looking to grab her attention. It is true what your friend says, most of the time guys do not really notice make up unless it looks like it has been plastered on with a shovel. It sounds to me like this girl must just be very attractive and you are going to have to live with that. It is nothing to do with looking natural or not it is her as a person that is attracting so many men.
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A
female
reader, Becca1 +, writes (26 October 2012):
Focus on yourself and not your friend. Sure, she's beautiful and men find her attractive but I'm sure men also find you attractive too. Be yourself, do your own thing, wear the make up you want, that makes you feel good, and stop worrying about her and all the attention she gets.
She sounds like a nice person whose ego hasn't exploded with all the male attention. She sounds smart enough to realise that it isn't just all about how you look - you need to start taking a leaf from her book. Maybe these men are sensing that you feel inadequate to her in some way.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way - as I'm sure you are, and men will find you attractive, just the way you are, so relax. Stop focusing on how your friend looks, or whether she wears too much make up or not. Men find all sorts of women attractive for many different reasons. And good job too, otherwise the world would stop turning.
Looks may attract a man but it's what you have inside that will keep one interested. Just because men compliment her doesn't mean to say that they all want to get to know her.
Be yourself. Like yourself. Don't allow yourself to feel second best to her. No one is making you feel that way but yourself. If you prefer the natural look then stick to it, and you'll attract the kind of guy that is right for you. Remember, please yourself first, and then pleasing others will follow.
Much love x
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