A
female
age
30-35,
*issAnnonimus
writes:What should you do when u like spending most of ur time with ur bf and he always needs his space?I m almost 4 years with my bf on distance relationship and we re planning on moving together this year.But what is concerning me lately is that even though i m much younger than him i dont have need to party and need for friends as much as he does.I never made him any problems with going out or anything,cause i also have a social life and wouldn't like that to be done to me...but the longer we r together,i really enjoy his company,and when we r month together on one spot i dont have need for anybody,not for my friends or family...but on other side he sits and plays playstation even if we re together just for weekend.When we were talking about moving in,he said how we need bigger flat so we have extra rooms where can we go when we wanna be alone!In my oppinion when u r so long on distance and get opportunity to be with ur partner,u just wanna grab him and dont separate.Not think about separate rooms.Last thing that really made me upset is him saying how he plans on going this summer on vacation with his friends!I assume people have diffrent oppininos on this,but i really do not feel comfortable with my bf going on a 'guys vacation'.Its not that i dont trust him,but i just dont like it.I told him how i feel and he said how he feels prohibited and with no freedom,and that this is a thing we should really think about cause its a problem to our relationship,when this is the first time i complain about something.So i really dont know what to do...we have such a good relationship 4 so long,so much love for each other but i wont be truth to myslef if i allow all those things i dont like.I also worry that one day when we have kids(cause we r planning it one day)he ll still want to party and vaction alone.And he also told me that he broke up with his ex gf because she wanted to be every day together!So what do u do in this situation?When u love each other,trust each other,get along on so many things but than on this one,which is so important u dont?When something that is normal to him,its not to u?Cause last thing i want one day is to live separate lives with my partner :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): I think you need to give him his space. Perhaps put a few miles between you. Let go and come up for air. For his sake and yours.I read every word. You need him within reach at all times, and you're smothering him with love. You can't be clingy and expect someone to like it. I think your whole world revolves around this guy. You're obsessing over him.You need to discover your independence. You may be a very beautiful woman, but you have a lot of insecurity and problems with self-esteem. You don't need another person to make you complete. Love isn't holding a person hostage emotionally. Don't expect anyone to want to live under your control and on your terms. You have a lot of love to give, but it has to be given in doses. It has to be earned.You need to travel. Expand your horizons. Enjoy your youth and date different men. Pick up a hobby and discover your creative side. When you discover who you are, you don't need another person to make you feel safe and secure. You are very young and inexperienced. You only know "puppy-love". He has every right to go on a vacation with his friends. You have nothing to say about it. Nor he, in your case. There is no real relationship from what I've read. There is no compromise, you reject or dismiss anything he suggests regarding your living arrangements.If things continue to go as they are, you won't have to dump him. He'll leave you! Lighten up and enjoy your freedom. Make some good friends and discover who you are and what you're made of. Love yourself first, and you'll see how easy it is to be loved. If a guy loves you, you won't have to put a leash on him. By crowding him in, you force him to push you away. He is a free-spirit and you are trying to change him into another appendage. You will never be happy, nor will he. Release your grip, let your relationship develop without hanging on too tight. You're scaring him away. He may not even be the right guy for you. You're not taking the time to find out who he really is, you're too busy chasing him.Relax and take your time. You're all wrapped up in trying to be in love, with an unrealistic approach. Allow yourself time to mature and learn more about what a relationship should be. It comes with patience and practice. You're moving way too fast and acting pretty desperate.I really hope things will work out the way you want them to. You'll have to be more mature and realistic.
A
female
reader, XoLove07  +, writes (5 March 2013):
 First question that popped into my head is "Koji mu je?". I saw the Serbian flag and I don't often see people from the same country as me on this site. Anyway ,the way you are feeling is completely normal and understandable. I love spending time with my boyfriend and he loves spending time with me. My boyfriend lives one hour away from me and he visits me everyday even if he's "wasting" gas(I know you can't compare this to a long distance relationship but he makes an effort to see me). To tell you the truth, your boyfriend doesn't seem like he's taking this as serious as you are. If your going to live together, then there shouldn't be any extra rooms in the apartment just so you can be alone. I mean what's the point of living together in the first place,right? I think you should wait a little more before you move in together. Like you said, he's younger than you and he sounds like he's still not mature enough for living with you in the same apartment. I know you have been together for 4 years now but if he's acting like that, then it won't hurt to wait a couple more months. It's normal for a man to want his space sometimes, but I mean you have a long distance relationship already and he still complains about needing his space. You seem like a mature young lady that knows what she wants and he just seems like an immature guy that wants to party and have fun and isn't ready to settle down yet. Don't rush into things. Let some time pass because believe me honey once you get an apartment and things don't work out, that's when things start getting ugly. If he truly loves you then he will take time to solve your problems with you instead of being mean to you. Hope this helps . :)
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