A
female
age
30-35,
*Ax
writes:I am/was seeeing this guy for about 3 weeks and then he sends me a text last friday saying "youre really full on, i think we should cool it for a bit. im not ready for this sort of thing. sorry x" What does this mean in male language? Does it mean we're completely over? Also, could i have been a rebound? And finally, how long do i wait before i contact him first, or should i just hold off completely?Some things you should know: - his ex broke up with him 4/5 months ago and they went out for 3 years( he told me he wanted to break up with her too and that she just did it first)-im the first girl he's had a thing/anything with since they broke up-we didn't have sex because we wanted to wait and make it special and even when i genuinely offered one time, he declinced because it was too soon.-he's going to uni soon not too far away and we spoke of how often we could see eachother etc- he compared me to his ex by saying things like " Thank God you talk to my parents", and other ways im better than her, because he told me that his ex avoided his parents and he likes the fact that i dont. Thank you in advance :) x
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female
reader, xAx +, writes (28 September 2011):
xAx is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you again for all your replies. I won't contact him! It will be very tempting though! I so hope he will contact me in the future when he's ready though....*sigh* 3
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (27 September 2011):
 If it were me, I would leave it enitely up to him to make first contact. I strongly recommend women not be the pursuers.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 Follow everybody's advice and don't contact him at all. If he wants to he will contact you, and if he doesn't well then just think of it as his loss and move on. I know the truth can be painful sometimes but I guess in life we just need to accept it.
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A
female
reader, xAx +, writes (26 September 2011):
xAx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your honest, yet painful :/, responses :) The thing is im scared he'll forget me, so i want to contact him after a week or something with just a casual text. Do you think this is a good idea? Or do you think that if he liked me enough, he will when he is ready, contact me again?
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (26 September 2011):
This is not 'male language'. It's universal. He thinks you're far too eager for a serious relationship and he isn't so he's distancing himself.
It would be prudent to assume it's permanently over and not attempt to contact him again. He may change his mind one day and if he does, he knows how to reach you.
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A
male
reader, Razzy  +, writes (25 September 2011):
From...my honest perspective...it could be that after that 3 year old relationship he does not want to start over again so soon also he might have realized that he is too young to be hooked up by something like this again...so he wants to live a little,be free.That is pretty much the only other way for us to be cured...so yeah...its over. Maybe he wanted to make her jealous with you...but in the end he would just hurt you...so who knows maybe he didn't want to get tangled... Just don't think about it...and if he comes back...make sure you are not a backup...or avoid him completely...the last thing you want is to be with someone who does not fully desire you right?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (25 September 2011):
It sounds to me like everything was just happening to fast for him. It could be possible that it was a rebound. Because he has made it clear that he is not ready for anything serious. Don't take this personally he is just not ready for a relationship at the moment. I think the best thing to do is to give him space and not contact him. He has told you straight out that you are to full on with him so take a step back and let him contact you if he wants to. It is a bad idea for you to contact him. It sounds to me like it is completely over so I guess you need to accept this. Comparing you to his ex is never a good sign because it shows that she is still on his mind. Even if he is comparing you in a good way it is still not a good sign. Just give him some space and see what happens.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 September 2011):
 my "read" is he's scared too death that you want to have a lon-lasting relationship and he's way not ready.
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