A
female
age
36-40,
*tella19
writes:This is updated from earlier my boyfriend left for 3 days saying he needed to sort things out and stayed at a friends. Well he came home tonight saying he was coming to get some things I asked if we were over and if I could move on he got defensive and said no . We had sex then he left again. He said he didn't know if he wanted to be with me and that he would talk to me in a Couple days. What does this mean I'm lost?
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (28 May 2008):
 I would have to say he's enjoying being single. I wouldn't doubt it if he has someone else while he's making his decision. If he wanted to be with you, why does he need time to make that decision? I think he's playing you a bit. I wouldn't wait around for someone to make that sort of decision. If they chose to be with me, a decision wouldn't need to be made, and thinking about it is too wishy washy to wait around for. I'd tell him, choose or goodbye. You deserve more than to be waiting around for a maybe.
Take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): I think that if i was you i would take hold of the situation and tell him that you cant go on like this and it is over. He cannot sort his head out then you sort it out for him. Why should you be messed around like this? What is going on? Pin him down and ask for an explanation or the whole thing is off. Life is too short.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Isabella1974  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 Hi there,
Ok for some reason your boyfriend is lost, which means he is confused as to whether he wants to be in a relationship or not and needs the space to find out what he wants to do, so officially you are broke up.
Did he mention what sort of things he needs to sort out. I honestly dont think he has the right to tell you whether or not you are over and can you move on, he walked out on you...why cant he see what this is doing to you?
Its up to you now to decide whether you want to move on or not...he hasnt given you a proper reason. Please dont have sex with him again if he is still like this, I am saying this for your own well being.
By all means give him the time he needs to sort things out, but set a time limit, how long is a couple of days going to turn into.
Sometimes its possible that people lose their way and all they need is a bit of time away to clear their heads. So maybe this is all he needs.
you will find out in time, give him this time, but if he comes back he needs to have a good reason. Otherwise you will live with the fear that he will do this again and again, he has to understand that when there is a problem you need to both sit down and sort things out.
Take care
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