A
male
age
30-35,
*3puremage1
writes:I don't understand why she acting like this on me. We started as friend and then eventually becomes very good friend. I have been there to support her all the way from when she went out with a guy who was using her and I was the only one who was stupid enough to stand up and tell her that. Other people either didn't know or not dare to tell her and consequently she ended up hating me and ignored me for like two weeks and I was the one who was kneeing on the ground begging her back. But she did help me out in different things too in my life. Afterward, when they broke up I went up just to comfort her as friend because I knew I am not the kind of guy she would love. I controlled the feelings really well but during those three months when they were going out, I have accumulated far too much negative emotions and thus I went up to her and gave her a letter which was very pessimistic. She was very upset and I didn't want to hurt her like this since I still love her so I went up and beg her again to forgive me for upsetting her. Later, she kicked me out of her friend list on Facebook which was something that out of my prediction. After two weeks me and her became friends again. During those time we ignored each other and pretend that we did not know each other but we sometimes looked at each other for less than a second.Last week, me and a female friend of mine were having a conversation on my profile. She criticized her and I was defending her. The girl whom I love saw the whole conversation and was very angry and I immediately apologize and she said things really harsh like I am obsessed with her. I was hurt but I just kept apologizing and unfriend my female friend to show her that I really mean it. Finally, during the sports dinner of our school, she kept staring at me but I didn't get in touch with her at all since I don't want her to think I am obsessed with her. I did interact with many other girls and took picture with them and post them on Facebook. Is this because I am a Chinese and she is a British?What does she wants?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, 83puremage1 +, writes (1 June 2011):
83puremage1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah you are right I shouldn't unfriend her. But anyway thanks and in fact I seem don't really care about her. Thanks.
A
female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (1 June 2011):
 You need to leave this girl alone and forget about her.
It does sound like you have become obsessive about her, which means you can never be "just friends" anymore. That would never be enough for you and the girl you like knows it.
(((I just kept apologizing and unfriend my female friend to show her that I really mean it.)))
Never treat a good friend this way, that is wrong and proves that you will do anything to please this one girl who doesn't even like you as a BF. This behavior is why she accuses you of being obsessive. It would creep me out too.
So to answer your question, what does she want. I think she just wanted you to be a normal friend. But your feelings for her are to strong, so it is not possible for you two to ever be just friends, which is why you have to walk away and leave her alone. For your own peace of mind as well as hers.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 June 2011):
 She doesn't want you as a boyfriend, I'm sorry to tell you.
You've unfriended another girl because she dared tell you the truth? Like you did to this girl? You're letting this girl whom you love alter your other friendships and behavior toward your other friends? She sounds like she's not a good influence on you, frankly.
You do sound a bit obsessed with her and it also sounds like you're not keeping that as secret as you think. She knows there's something bubbling there inside your head about her and she's keeping her distance because she's not interested.
What does she want from you? It appears to me that she wants distance from you.
I would acknowledge her in public but stop trying to engage her in private. You can control what people post on your walls, don't allow anyone to post gossip or negative comments about anyone, that's not polite and is just bad manners, and will eventually alienate everyone from you.
Apologize to the girl who was trying to get you to see and then just let your crush feelings erode with time.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, 83puremage1 +, writes (1 June 2011):
83puremage1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo certain degree you are correct. But I am not like the guy you had to face during that time. In fact, we barely talk with each other in reality now and I have almost moved on and interact with other girls much more often.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): Firstly, i very much doubt this has to do with race, Secondly, i think that she's become very uncomfortable because of the way you have been behaving towards her. You obviously have strong feelings for her but she doesn't feel the same. That's a hard thing to deal with i know.
If i'm honest i don't think you and this girl are going to find it easy just being friends because you feel so strongly for her. What happens when she gets another boyfriend? Are you going to be nasty to her again?
You remind me of a guy i work with. I'm older than you (24) but it's pretty much the same story. I was just being nice to him at work, like a work mate should and he became obsessed. Still is actually. Before i found out what he was really like, i gave him my number because i thought he wanted to be friends. I was very wrong.
He texts me 10 times a day saying he "loves" me. I lied and told him i had a boyfriend and he said he'd beat him up if he ever hurt me. Today it finally got too much and i told this guy to leave me alone and not to text me anymore.
If you look back at your behavior to your friend you might see where you're going wrong. If you want any hope of being friends again you're going to have to apologise and not get involved with her love life.
Are you really capable of just being her friend?
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