A
male
age
30-35,
*3puremage1
writes:I upset a girl that I love (she knows it)very recently by telling her boyfriend is using her as a temporary plan and some really bad things about him. I understand this would destroy her dream but she had promised me that she would not be angry with me and would be remain calm. But obviously she did not keep her promised and ignored me for a week. After a week she sent me a message and the content was she noticed we haven't talk for a long time and she asked me how I am. I replied not too bad. Afterward, I tried to talk to her in school but every time she finds an excuse to avoid it. But somehow she always stares at me secretly.I tried to be nice to her but she doesn't allow me to do it. What does she wants? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, 83puremage1 +, writes (3 February 2011):
83puremage1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst, she asked to know about these things, but she did not know I would tell her these things and maybe she was expecting me to say something else. Her boyfriend using her is a fact, but I have no evidence for it since I witnessed it by coincidence. I did not want to tell her these things too, but they are facts and I am a very logical person. I thought it would be nice to know the dark side too, but obviously I am wrong now.But I just don't understand why she sent me a message and now she ignores me. It's just impossible to understand.
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (3 February 2011):
 Life lesson #23, never talk bad about someone you care about's partner. You just end up looking like a jealous douche and are easily dismissed.
By saying bad stuff about him, you indirectly were calling her dumb for being with him. I know you didn't mean it, but that's what she heard. I guarantee it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): You told her " her boyfriend is using her as a temporary plan and some really bad things about him."No wonder she's keeping her distance. It's arrogant for you assume her boyfriend's thoughts and intentions. You are insinuating she can't manage her own relationship. And it's a hurtful thing to say if she likes this new guy. If you were in love with someone and a "friend" told you "Oh her, she just wants your money, she doesn't really love you," then you may rightly be offended. It's almost like suggesting you can't be taken seriously by this woman.She chose to date him and not you, for a reason. Putting him down just makes you look petty and jealous. She is probably aware of your jealousy, she may even forgive it, but keeps her distance because you are interfereing in her personal life.Don't meddle.
...............................
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (3 February 2011):
If she has no plans of letting go her current boyfriend, and she knows you're in love with her, she is being a little selfish. She shouldn't keep contact with you in that case. Because you will suffer in vain.
It seems that she wants to maintain a friendship with you. I don't know why is that. But I think that friendship won't make you happy.
Is it true that her boyfriend doesn't love her for real. Or just a thing you lied about?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): Well she loves him and shes upset. Maybe she just needs time... She probably understands that you are right and feels lost. Give her time.
...............................
|
