A  ,
*elsi
writes:When a woman in her mid 50's is married to a man who is 60 yrs. old say's she loves her husband BUT is NOT in love with him---What exactly doe's that mean?? They have two grown sons and no grandchildren. Anyway why does she stay with him if she isn't IN LOVE with him???? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): "Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love", which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."
— Louis de Bernières
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 May 2010):
 I agree with laura and Rescuer, I just want to add something about the why she stays with him even without being in love.
There might be tons or reasons, including those about joint assets and financial stability, but a very good reason is that being in love is not all that counts in life. It's an impermament blesiing, a precios but frail bonus - it may go away, but that does not mean that when it's gone there is nothing left. There may be lots of things left, like respect, companionship, affection, shared memories, common pursuits. At her age, being in love is a nice plus ( people fall in love even in retirement homes,as for that ) but is not the be-all and end-all of a relationship.
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reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 May 2010):
 "She loves him but is not in love with him." means there is no more chemistry,sexual attraction and passions .Love becomes a chore and not a pleasure.
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reader, The Realist  +, writes (27 May 2010):
 It means that they still care for the person like a close friend who they would do anything for but the spark and passion is gone from the relationship.
In other words she loves him but the sex and romance of the past is no longer there.
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