A
female
age
41-50,
*ia0675
writes:Well, I met a guy almost a year ago that was studying for his L-Stats and we became good friends.Although we both liked each other and occasionally would go out for lunch we remained friends. Not knowing what Law School he would end up I tried not to like him,but I couldn't help it he's great and we connect so well in every level. Long story short he ended up getting accepted at a Law School only an hour away from home. We began to date in June. Things were running smoothly until 6wks later he got his first assignments in the mail and 1 weekend he gave me a rain check and didn't call when he said he would. When we finally spoke I let him know that I really like him and I think he's great, but in order for things to work out he should call me when he says he is. He said he likes me too and that I'm great, but he has a lot on his plate right now and asked me for some time. I told him the last time someone asked me for some time never got back to me and that was very hurtful and he said he doesn't want me to hurt so maybe I should move on. I said ok, then took it back and said we could work it out. He apologized for ruining my day and said we would talk later. We've have spoken as friends since but when I tell him Iam willing to give him time and I don't want to move on he won't give me a straighr answer. What should I do? What does this mean? He leaves for school in a week.
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female
reader, No_Nonsense  +, writes (17 February 2009):
 Hey there, sorry to hear of those mixed messages you're getting from this guy! The thing is that sometimes relationship breaks can work - but only if both parties agree that it's not the end of the relationship and they're honestly using the time to suss things out and see if the relationship can grow. But if this guy has told you that maybe you should move on, it sounds like he's hoping you will so that he doesn't have to break up. See, sometimes guys are cowards and they hope that we will take matters into our own hands and leave. I think you should refrain from asking him about where you guys are at. Just continue being friends but leave the situation. Maybe if you back away a little, it will make him come to you. If not and things slide into friendship, then you have your answer. It seems like you can't get a direct answer from him, so he could be confused about what he wants or just plain afraid to tell you that he wants to move on. Guard your heart and take a few steps back from the situation. You've told him what you want, but now it's up to him. If he distances himself once school starts, then play him at his own game and do it back. Sometimes no answer is your answer! All the bestxx
A
female
reader, Mia0675 +, writes (7 August 2008):
Mia0675 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSadie, thank u so MUCH for ur support. I'm sorry ur dealing w/the same situation sweety. But, we have to ask ourselves a fundamental question, do we want to be w/a man that runs away everytime he gets stressed out? A good friend told me once, don't judge a relationship only when everything is running smoothly, but especially in bad times, a persons true character comes out. Anyway,in my case, I already told him I was moving on and I wished him the best of luck finding someone that will give him what I gave. Love yourself, and take care. I hope it all works out for you. Lots of Love, Mia =)
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A
female
reader, sadie30  +, writes (7 August 2008):
i am going through the same thing at the min, all i can suggest for you honey is give him time xx i know it will be hard but try and keep yourself busy to keep your mind off things. He will come back when he is good and ready, set yourself a time limit that you are prepared to give him, if he does not get back to you then you move on with your life, it may well be his loss... Just keep yourself busy xx
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (7 August 2008):
 Hi sweetheart
Im happy to help and I hope you find someone thats worthy of your love and caring nature YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU HUN LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, Mia0675 +, writes (7 August 2008):
Mia0675 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks NoNonsense and Mandy. You both are so right!!! So, B.F.D. Big Freakin Deal...NEXT!!! If he doesn't want to be w/me then why would I want to be w/him. Whew!!! What a relief!!!=)
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A
female
reader, Mia0675 +, writes (7 August 2008):
Mia0675 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks NoNonsense and Mandy. You both are so right!!! So, B.F.D. Big Freakin Deal...NEXT!!! If he doesn't want to be w/me then why would I want to be w/him. Whew!!! What a relief!!!=)
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (6 August 2008):
Hi Hunny
I really think by him telling you you should move on as he does not want to hurt you means you really must move on from this. He cannot promise anything, This is his way of telling you this is not what he wants at the moment as No_Nonsense said hunny dont waste your time on someone who is not worth it go forward and find someone who is..TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, No_Nonsense +, writes (6 August 2008):
He said maybe you should move on - that in itself means he wants you to move on. And the fact that he can't give you a straight answer is also a sign of that. These things are not what someone who loves you will say! I think you should forget about this guy because obviously he has already moved on. You deserve someone who is more committed. Don't waste your time on someone who is not worth your time!
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