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age
30-35,
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writes: Ok so i'm so depressed right now. i keep trying to end a relationship, well it was never really a relationship more seeing eachother. And every time i do it ends up starting agen not llong after,i can't let him go. But the other day he ended it said he just wanted to be friends? what does that mean?? he doesnt fancy me anymore?what should i do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010): ex means ex PERIOD!!!! sorry. its a line so commonly used by a person who for whatever reason has simply lost interest in the relationship...being it as a simple booty call, a long-term thing. LETS BE FRIENDS-s almost always code for ITS OVER or IM NOT THAT INTO YOU. this line is used so often because its so socially correct. but in reality if i ever hear from my partner that they and their ex are "still good friends." a red flag is going to go up.if an ex is truly an ex, it doesnt work that way...sorry.and the line "lets be friends" also says alot about the character of the person using it and not in a favorable light. as i said its usually a bone thrown to someone who either has no interest or got what they wanted from the situation and lost interest. people almost always know when they meet someone i they really want to be just friends or if they want something more. this is a line almost always used AFTER sexual intimacy has taken place. and that my dear is NOT a friend. a friend would never do such a thing. they have far more respect than that for the person.honey, this sounds brutal but the best thing ANYONE can do when someone comes to them looking for an answer is give it to them straight. getting lines like this thrown at them is usually part of a pattern theyve gotten trapped into. lines like this isnt just a form of being a coward. it also indicates that they have no respect for you. time to find out where youre the lowest common denominator in that one
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 February 2010):
 I was wondering the same thing too: why can't he just try? But after I focus on somebody else, those questions don't really matter anymore. And when I found out it's my turn to turn someone down, there is really no best way. Then we are left with the empty feeling by ourselves. We can sometimes just know the relationship is not gonna work before it even starts. I hope you find a good match soon.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (13 February 2010):
You should not take this personally. A guy did that to me. I am actually attractive but his life is not stable, he went through a painful breakup, so he does not want a girlfriend. I said ok but he could feel I was falling in love with him. He hooked me up with another guy by tricking me into believing that the number he gave me was his, but was actually the new guy. I wasn't interested in the new guy. I broke his heart :( I found someone else after 1 month and went steady with my new boyfriend. After my "friend" knew this we lost contact with each other and never bothered with the texting. It's just not the same anymore. So "let's just be friends" basically mean I don't want anything to do with you but can't find a better way of expressing it without hurting you. What you should do is focus on some other guy. Never take this personally. See how easily I switched targets? Don't let your hormones get control of you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): He wants out as well. Be happy! This is what you've been trying to for so long now, to get out of this relationship!
He could still fancy you and think its for the best to keep away from you. When a man says "lets be friends" he usually mean it! Not like girls who say lets be friends and then make out with them right after. Guys stick to it. He said just be friends, Im pretty sure you wont be able to be anything more. He might even distance himself from you to kill all remaining feelings and get you out of his system.
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